You have 8 whole socks? Good for you Mr. Rockfeller

I hope you get eaten by a pig.

Unlikely. I’m relatively famous among pig circles for carrying massive amounts of C4 in case the situation gets tense. They call me Colonel Oink’Neill for this reason.

Well, they also are chaotic evil beings. I once saw a pig eat a whole live duck who was bathing in its water.

In the countryside, numerous warnings of never letting a baby near a pig.

Shit animals in my opinion, deserve to be dynamited. Maybe not eaten.

“Could you…” - no that’s way too abrasive

“Would you…” - that sounds like I’m micromanaging them

“Would you please…” - now that’s condescending

“Would you mind terribly if…” - a bit better but still too harsh

“Just to inform you that I will do the task myself.” - Perfect. Now I just have to not send it.

Oh no you missed them! They were here last week. Very nice chaps, they came with cool presents: some beautiful seashells, funny nudibranchs and polished rocks. We had a lot of fun, and they stayed for the evening barbecue. They had to leave early though, to wipe out one third of the country’s population and erase our entire civilisation from history. I couldn’t catch where they live unfortunately - I would have loved to pay them a visit.

You might think so but if you are familiar with football you will know that anything related to CR7 is the other alternative

Lmao that can’t be a real place.

“Hey guys I need a name for a fictional city, can we talk this over at my barbecue this week end?”

“Barbecue… hmmm almost sounds like a fictional city”

Germany 1941

Japan 1938

Maybe not universal…

United Arab 🅱️e🅱️irates

Hurensohn

Mountbatten

You’re using a UI?!?? 😡

I’m not sure that losing 25% 10% of your territory exactly counts as kicking someone’s ass, but good effort anyway

No no no, this is not statistically significant. You have to try again and again, until we have enough data to determine if you are gay or not.

too much cheese

Whaaaaaa? 🤯

New Yorkers: 😠

Italians: 😠

Hawaians: 🍍

Everyone else: 😠 (for some reason everybody looks very invested in the pizza debate)

I like your boldness anyway

19th hole? She has a name, you know.

Do not laminate the dog again, please.

I can’t quite make myself conceive that this really happened.

No warning lights on the car parked in an illegal spot? What an amateur

I hope the firefighter enjoyed doing that as much I enjoyed watching it