Went to pour himself a glass of filtered water, but wasn’t sure which side of the tap was for hot water. He didn’t want to accidentally pour a glass of boiling water - so he put his hand in it to see if it was scalding hot. It was.

We literally jogged animals to death.

My PE teacher tried to do that to me once or twice. Guess I showed him. The kid with the bad leg was the weakest herd member.

“The gimp’s asleep.”

“Well wake him up!”

Maybe I should read the article. It does say Disney. Am I too focused on pissing on Jeff Bezos’ bald head?

…nah.

As an adult? I paid for it, I’ll eat it. Then I won’t order it again.

Ive thought about many of things but im unsure if i should try them?

You should definitely try them. What have you got to lose?

Since you’re a creative sort, why not make zines? Scribus is a free layout tool you could use to build them and there are plenty of free templates available.

Wow. His power level’s over 9,000.

No. But I bet I could lick my cat’s nose… once.

Maybe you should read the article.

It was meant to be provoking to motivate people to try to argue.

Absurd. People don’t argue on the internet.

Of course. The stegosaurus is the most trustworthy of saurians.

Well, no. They say if the maggots are dead, the cheese isn’t safe to eat.

I do, but that’s because I subscribe to hobby newsletters that tend to run long. I wouldn’t use a summary button because I want every bit of that content.

A condom.

Apart from the obvious use, you can carry water in it if there’s an emergency.

If it turns out that Amazon killed Dr Who for good then I am personally gonna piss all over Jeff Bezos’ bald head.

Why would Jesus want a touchdown? Donate half your income to charity if you want to impress him.

Nice try, horse.

How many times has Andrew Tate been kicked in the head during his career? More than he can count to, I’m guessing.

That’s unfortunate.

My most famous name-twin is an English professor.

Caffeine inhalers are a thing.