She only wants one thing, and that’s my legs.

I think the majority of people would not be happy for long, by themselves. Humans are pretty codependent by nature, for better or worse. Despite myself being a person who has discovered themselves to be much happier and healthier solo, I’ve come to the conclusion over the years that it’s pretty pointless to try to convince others of the merit.

I read OpenClaw and for some reason hoped it was a new port of Claw.

thanks it’s italian

they keep the birds constantly pregent to keep getting the milk pretty sad

oh daddy ohhhhh!

I change my vote to humans, for constantly over-analyzing everything, including jokes.

Koalas are fucking horrible animals.

They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally – their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death.

This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life.

Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can’t afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.

Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.

Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently…

Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they’re fucking terrible animals.

Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio… There’s a trend here).

When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn’t want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother’s anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.

This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?

Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn’t helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.

Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:

Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury… should they fall from a tree.

An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.

If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

I heard they went down to avoid having to by law require users submit pictures of their penises for identification.

If you are in the UK I think you need a license to do that.

Highly suspicious.

insisting on the former feels like textbook UnitedStatesOfAmerican exceptionalism.

I suppose I wouldn’t know because I’m not American, I’m American.

EDIT: I mean honestly, no one living in the greater North or South Americas would say the above while speaking English. This whole thing ironically smacks of a first world problem a (perhaps self-hating) American (or at very least Westerner) came up with. All the rest of us surrounding their country know our identities.

When there’s another nation called the “United States of [something]” then we can talk about “the US” being difficult and aloof terminology.

I named two examples, a country and a state. But I’ll leave you to pick and choose and be super smart and progressive.

US? US what? United States of Mexico? United States of Matsya? If we’re being difficult and aloof just to be difficult and aloof, lets really lean into it. When you say “US” it could be a number of places.

Is it any different from when we used to record our shows and fast-forward through the ads?

A “megastar”? Damn. I’m not here to shit on your idols… proceed.

EDIT: That edit is left-field weird as fuck bro.

Yet it is virtually never used that way in modern times, and if someone said “American” you’d know exactly what they meant.

“Famous Actor” is pretty generous, but I do get your point.