Too many people are confusing the two. Whenever lemmy.ml or its devs do something stupid, people go “Lemmy is getting worse and worse,” or “I’m leaving Lemmy,” or worse, “I’m leaving for Beehaw.”
If you’re using Beehaw, then you’re using Lemmy. Lemmy is the software these instances run on. If you don’t like lemmy.ml, join another instances that have rules that match your philosophy. Some instance hosts authoritarian or fascist shit? Turn to another Lemmy instance. Lemmy.ml is not even the biggest instance. People who just joined and are unfamiliar with the platform will just think the entire Lemmyverse is run by autocratic admins if we don’t get our terminology right.
If you have not been on mastodon lately. I’d suggest a revisit.
As part of my migration to Lemmy I did and found the experience much improved. It way easier to find channels to follow from all various instances.
Now my main focus was on getting good news feed set up - which is pretty mainstream need. So if your needs are more niche it may still be a pain.