In one study of 530 people, published in the Journal of Personality Disorders, we analysed written essays about peoples’ close relationships. We also collected data on their levels of personality dysfunction. Those with greater personality dysfunction used language that carried a sense of urgency and self-focus – “I need…”, “I have to…”, “I am…”.
Releasing this without an online tool to analyse your own data should be a crime.
I want to take my Lemmy comments and check them to see if I’m a narcissist online.
I want to feed convos from dating apps into it so I can bang tonnes of people with BPD and then bail before they can ruin my life.
It would be an incredibly dangerous gambit but fortune favours the bold.
You know whom I distrust the most? People who never swear, and always interact with you with the same, even, sanitized, smooth personality.
The Mormons are particularly adept at this. They think never swearing and never raising their voices makes them more polite and more respectful of others, when in fact it makes them seem suspicious and sketchy as hell. I know they have good intentions when they do that, but it makes them sooo infuriating.
The unshakeable, ubiquitous politeness is something I don’t really miss from Utah. I remember how refreshing it felt when someone first told me “holy fucking Jesus” or “fuck you” or something after I left.
I value restraint, almost as much as I value the ability to let go of it when appropriate. Raising your voice then apologizing when appropriate is far more valuable than remaining calm when a voice raising is warranted or raising it and not acknowledging how it’s unpleasant to those around you
The traits of my character I cultivate the most are:
- Don’t be nasty with people in their faces: usually people who do you wrong made a mistake, and don’t do it on purpose. So usually I let it slide - or at least I don’t react as harshly as I could’ve in the circumstances - and I give the person a way out.
- Don’t EVER talk negatively about someone else behind their back. If I have a beef with someone, it’s nobody’s business but mine with them, and I’ll deal with them directly.
I found out a long time ago that if you behave like this, you gain a reputation as a trustworthy person who’s easy and pleasant to interact with. That certainly doesn’t preclude raising my voice, and I generally swear like a sailor… But it’s not badly received when I do because people know whatever I’m ranting about is never personal, and I’ll never turn nasty against anyone in public.
The thing I strive for above all else is humility.
Admitting when I’m wrong, allowing the space for others to be wrong and to not hold it against them, to learn and grow from my failures instead of hating myself for them.
Humility is good.
Hard to maintain when you have the world’s largest penis, millions of dollars in the bank, and all other people are like ants compared to you, but I wouldn’t know anything about that since none of it applies to me.
As a man who has had lots of gay sex with Mormons, I can tell you… they scream all sorts of filthy shit. They’re just programmed to behave. So yeah, they’re very good actors and that’s pretty scary.
Weirds me out, too. I’m from the maritimes where “fuck” is essentially a pronoun.
Fuckin’ eh bud high fives Bluenoser style…which is with blueberry stained mittens I guess
JAYsus marynjoseph ya got yer head on right dere bud? Here’s the link for you.
Lawrd jumpin’, that’s some useful a saurce dere, my son. T’ink I might be misremembrin’ the stauries 'bout de potato, but I know dem blueberry bushes is right common in mawst parts of da province.
[I’ve moved a ton since NS, and have lost ~most of my accent, but ugh, it just feels so god damn comfy and right to speak like this. It comes back in full force for a few days whenever I watch Trailer Park Boys, lol]
Same here, bud. I only gets it back when I’m half gone with the cousins. I miss picking buckets of blueberries out back of my nan’s.
S’pose we’re friends now, eh?
Depends, who’s yer fadder?
[Fuck yeah we’re friends now]
Well fuck, he’s out by Pictou, if you’re in the neighborhood I doubt he’d mind you dropping in for a beer and a dart.
See you around, there.
Think a lot of folks have this impression, and I’d argue it comes down to perceptions of authenticity and transparent intent.
The image you describe can feel very forced, and people pick up on that. The question becomes “Why are you putting on a performance? What’s your angle?”. The person who casually curses or has a couple bumps in their personality feels more authentic - they don’t seem to be editing themselves or projecting a carefully crafted image, so what you’re seeing must be what you’ve got.
Isn’t to say people can’t be genuinely polite, not curse, and just happen to be a bit stiff, or present an image that cursing and being strategically bumpy supports to help hide true intent. But the first one can seem a bit less trustworthy (I think of people recruiting others into cults or providing cover for cult outreach activities when I think about your example. 12 Tribes/Yellow Deli shit, basically.)
I’m less weirded out by people that don’t curse or use expletives at all, than I am by people that substitute them with innocuous words. Sure, I get using dang instead of damn around others, but when someone uses frick more than people use fuck it’s just really offputting. Like, just because you aren’t using the same word, doesn’t mean you aren’t cursing.
Some people have a child’s understanding of the world.
thus mute people have only personality orders
This is abelist propaganda
Because the subjects have personalities?
How so?
