i have a cute cat

Hired. Bring your cat.
Woah that’s a cute cat
I am unfazed by being covered in blood, and very handy with a chainsaw.
These two things are unrelated BTW.
Chainsaws are hard.
That’s why you have to soak them overnight before adding them to your favourite dishes, then they just give you a little extra bite.
I have just about zero counter space in my kitchen. I can’t be soaking anything in there.
You know why the chainsaw was invented, right?
to saw chains?
I make amazing pancakes. Like seriously good ones. My grandmother taught me to make them when I was a wee kidlet so I don’t use a recipe which annoys folks who ask me for it after they try them. There’s no secret ingredient, all the normal pancake stuff, it’s just a knack I have I guess.
I always try to do the right thing, you should want me just cos of that. I also make excellent cups of tea which I feel is an important skill
Rust proficiency. No not that one.
I can trick people into doing their work. And if they won’t do it, i’m good enough at learning most roles that I can do it for them (but in a way that is adventageous to me).
I think this could honestly be reworded in a way that could be very advantageous on a resume tbh
I once had someone call me out in an interview for being manipulative, which it is in a way. Except that the people I trick were actually supposed to do the work anyway. Anywho, I could use some help on the wording and presentation of this skill.
Divine head game
I’m very likeable for some reason and I wish I could put that on a resume because it’s what gotten me through all my jobs and promotions.
I know an astonishing amount of useless stuff.
Same! But I’d rather not disclose to my (potential or current) employer that I’m neurodivergent 😅








