cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/52502962

I would not venture into the comment section, but I think the post brings up a point for discussion. Menstruation is different for everyone (some women don’t/can’t some men do etc), so I figured I’d ask here what your relationship to it is and how you see other people relate to it. I personally think there’s something very unique to menstruation itself that I would not relate to anything else, having experienced things far more and far less painful or affecting, but I know that’s not how everyone views it. Having said that, I think there’s a lot of discussion around women’s periods and I understand the desire to relate to them regardless of your personal experience with them. I would love to hear your individual perspectives on how you talk about your cycles to people, or if you do so at all, and how their responses affect your desire to talk to them about that going forward.

I have a friend that like me has had medical issues arise because of their cycle, and though we’ve had similar experiences I am least likely to bring up my experiences when she’s talking about hers because I want to give her feelings as much space as possible. She does the same with me. I’m not sure if it’s like that for others, but I think the more severe the issue the more likely I am to verbalize sympathy than empathy. On the other hand, I can pretty casually talk about it with some friends who have a more average experience with them. I’m least likely to talk about it with my male friends, but I have some close ones that I will mention it to and they always step up their support if I bring it up, since I mostly bring it up if I’m noticing I need some extra support. Because of the way my cycle affects me, and maybe because I am really lucky, my partners have been mostly really good about recognizing it and offering support when needed.

  • dkppunk@piefed.socialEnglish
    7·
    6 days ago

    So my friends and I talk pretty openly about cycle issues. Anything from PMS pain, to rage/depression, to any other symptom. We have started the perimenopause and menopause talks because we are all Gen X to millennials and starting to get to that age. Personally, as long as someone is showing empathy, I don’t mind when they speak about their experiences after I mention mine, my friends are very good at this. Our chats don’t go anything like the comic, more of an “omg I experienced that too!” as the conversation continues.

    It may be a little different for me because I had to have that conversation with my friends over a different issue. I was in a horrible car crash that broke my back. When I was hanging out with a friend who was complaining about her back hurting from PMS, then she looked at me and said something about how she shouldn’t complain when my back pain must be far worse. I told her that my pain does not make her pain go away and if she needs to talk about it, I want her to, especially if it makes her feel better to vent.

    I think as long as someone is doing it from a place of caring and not trying to turn it into a one up on who has it worse, it’s ok for both parties to talk about their issues.

  • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
    15·
    7 days ago

    So mixed feelings about the comic.

    On the one hand, I have heard that men’s hormone cycle is approximately like 3 days or something (I haven’t looked into this for a long time so don’t quote me). But it’s something like they experience PMS (hormonally) much more often than women do. On the one part, I get that.

    On the other hand, half the reason men feel like they “want to kill someone” is that toxic masculinity has not taught them how to regulate their emotions, and this has little to do with their hormones or body. So, cool dude, maybe get some therapy and then you won’t feel that way.

    And on the third hand, the physical consequences of having a uterus/period can be extremely challenging and I don’t think cis men could relate to that on any level. Until you’ve had your body feel like it’s ripping up on the inside on a monthly basis, don’t talk to me.

    And then on the fourth hand, also, I PCOS and haven’t had my period in like 3 years due to the birth control I use (and also I just wasn’t getting a period before because PCOS), and it’s great.

    • Taleya@aussie.zoneEnglish
      7·
      7 days ago

      I dislike it because it’s pulling the same shit a lot of guys do: rather than bringing up their problems of their own accord, they drag them up as a tit for tat or a competition, tacking them into someone elses’s open discussion of their issues.

      Go to fucking therapy.

      (I get the whole sharing like circumstances to open up a conversation or to empathise, but what’s happening here isn’t either of those things. It’s a conversation dominating end move. Great for a story sequence, shitty as hell IRL)

    • Greercase@lemmus.orgOPEnglish
      6·
      7 days ago

      I think you bring up a good point that most people likely have hormone cycles. We had a trans member of the community make a post recently regarding how they are experiencing period like symptoms and that other trans women have also experienced cyclical period like symptoms. I think a there’s a lot of variety in the human experience and my biggest issue is when people don’t recognize these differences as valid. It’s so important that we recognize that we’re more alike than different, but everyone faces their own unique issues and I like to leave a lot of space for that.

      Sorry to hear about your PCOS, but glad you’ve got the diagnosis and seem to have gotten a handle on what sounded like some bad periods.

  • Greercase@lemmus.orgOPEnglish
    5·
    7 days ago

    My app does not show the text in the post, so just in case, the post should say:

    I would not venture into the comment section, but I think the post brings up a point for discussion. Menstruation is different for everyone (some women don’t/can’t some men do etc), so I figured I’d ask here what your relationship to it is and how you see other people relate to it. I personally think there’s something very unique to menstruation itself that I would not relate to anything else, having experienced things far more and far less painful or affecting, but I know that’s not how everyone views it. Having said that, I think there’s a lot of discussion around women’s periods and I understand the desire to relate to them regardless of your personal experience with them. I would love to hear your individual perspectives on how you talk about your cycles to people, or if you do so at all, and how their responses affect your desire to talk to them about that going forward.

    I have a friend that like me has had medical issues arise because of their cycle, and though we’ve had similar experiences I am least likely to bring up my experiences when she’s talking about hers because I want to give her feelings as much space as possible. She does the same with me. I’m not sure if it’s like that for others, but I think the more severe the issue the more likely I am to verbalize sympathy than empathy. On the other hand, I can pretty casually talk about it with some friends who have a more average experience with them. I’m least likely to talk about it with my male friends, but I have some close ones that I will mention it to and they always step up their support if I bring it up, since I mostly bring it up if I’m noticing I need some extra support. Because of the way my cycle affects me, and maybe because I am really lucky, my partners have been mostly really good about recognizing it and offering support when needed.