My thoughts these days go to the medical professionals who, despite the pressures and stress they’re facing, are putting in the effort and time to understand our struggles, take them seriously, and try to help to the best of their ability, sometimes even beyond. All medical professionals should be like this; I’m glad there’s at least some who are.
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Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
CW: Paranoia, COVID trauma
spoiler
I’m not smart, at all. So it actually gives me real anxiety just how many people seemingly are having trouble understanding very simple things or understanding reality in a basic level. Like ignorance on an almost callous level too. It’s like everyone is doing vibe based thinking and the vibes are all fucked. Such thinking can be easily led to accept and even commit atrocities and I find that very, very scary. An example of what I mean is something that still haunts me from during the height of COVID. I remember when people were being forced to return to work again even though COVID death numbers were getting worse, and a coworker I previously thought of as a kind and decent person smiled and said to me (when inquiring about me wearing a mask to work) “Don’t worry, I don’t need a mask, it’s only weak and old people dying anyway.”
I feel like they just don’t care. You can spell something out so blatantly and they go nuh uh. It has to be deliberate ignorance.
covid
my father doesn’t wear a mask and recently caught it. i don’t think he’s even considering wearing a mask again even though he’s been complaining and grouchy about how sick he’s been. i even got bulk masks for the household a while ago and im the only one who uses them :/
realized I was exhibiting textbook symptoms of depression these past few months. Just got my SSRI dosage (prev for anxiety) upped after talking to my psychiatrist
also finally pushed myself into deleting X The Everything App off my phone
sorry umatter but I’m not eating a shit sundae just in case some of it’s fudge, it’s been realTwo good steps for your mental health then.
good luck
“In order to centralise the disability support system and bring it closer to your study environment at your educational institution we are moving responsibility for it to your teaching faculty and the physical location of your support center away from campus and to a handicap inaccessible building that is an hour away by public transport”
The professor who spilled the beans is going to be responsible in part for overseeing my disability aid
This is completely unacceptable. Have you gotten around to writing the complaint with your (now former) counselor?
I did. I also sent it. I asked who would review the complaint now and they dont know but they think it might be the faculty!
Oh fuck no
It is just shitty news after shitty news.
if I could scream, I would never stop
“You have a mouth and you wanna scream”, the collective work of most disabled people.
I wish I could feel safe around people
My extreme paranoia has made it difficult to stand still with people behind me. They could do something to hurt me, after all.
i sometimes rly dont get allistic ppl like. they will silently think ur being a dick and never tell u and then just randomly stop talking to u and this is your fault bc u were being a dick. like okay i don’t know im being a dick most of the time pls at least just be like “hey ur being a dick” so i can correct it?
I will admit I have no idea why they do it either. I think it’s probably this learned behavior of “It’s rude to say these things out loud”, but then again, isn’t the “being a dick” behavior what put these guys off in the first place? Politeness is so often valued higher than honesty, and that might be the root cause to your dilemma. I’m sorry you had to deal with this
6·1 month agoThey’re changing the way you pay for public transit here. You used to have a card that you tapped on terminals, now you have either an app or you can soon™ get a different card. What’s the difference? Why do they need to get rid of the old card to make a new card??? Capitalist fucking “innovation”
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Its so much sillier. The new card is split into two kinds, a version that just makes you pay with your card the total sum at the end of the day or an “anonymous” version that works EXACTLY LIKE THE OLD ONE.
Now the differences are that you need to check out at every stop, it won’t show you the price of anything and there will only be one scanner instead of a check in and a check out scanner.
This solution was implemented to head off criticism of the removal of the old system. So they made the old system but more convoluted.
Edit: I used a term I should not have. I apologise.
What a joke. They could have just made the app and continued with the old system at the same time. Like… what was wrong with it?
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Supposedly the new system was developed in cooperation with some disability rights orgs and the DaneAge association because checking out more and not having to “fill up” the card is better for people with bad memories or something. I don’t know if that’s true. I feel like given that there was already a system where you could automatically fill it up each month, you could easily build whatever payment system they felt was more suited on top of the old one.
But they wanted to get rid of the old system, didn’t want to make anyone mad, so now we have the old system 2.0
there’s tech debt reasons not to do that, like maybe APIs aren’t available or complete enough, but they could also just be getting swindled or bribed by somebody. ought to be journalists looking into it
Great! More work to put in for an already running system. Gotta love those moments
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I think the approach “grow up, everybody farts and has GI issues” is the best one here. Sure, farts can sound funny (speaking from experience, I have GI issues too from chronic diseases), and it’s okay to laugh about it, but that doesn’t mean you can mock someone for it. I laugh at my own farts a lot, and it has helped me grow more resilient while interacting with others when I have to fart, but in general, getting insulted for body functions is fucking no-go, always. You should definitely tell people off who mock you for it.
I hope your GI tract gives you peace today, HexaSnoot, and that nobody laughs at you
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I’d suggest that if you can, explain to those who are concerned what the cause is, don’t say anything if people don’t react to it at all, but tell them off when they’re being mean. Gagging will often elicit a strong reaction from people around you, I don’t think there’s any changing that. But why anyone would be mean about that is beyond me. Then again, people can be horrible, so what do I know. I hope you find more people who accommodate you and don’t laugh at you or mock you for your disability.
Another 5 hours of sleep another day of being horrendously tired.
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I’m sending you mental calm and as much sleep tonight as you need
CW: Talking about the Epstein news
spoiler
So yeah, the flood of all the Epstein news is officially starting to trigger me. I’m glad the truth is coming out and these monsters are finally being exposed, but constantly hearing about the most evil things imaginable is starting to get to me. Caught between wanting to stay informed and wanting to protect my mental health.
Spoiler
I worry that the constant exposure to these horrific crimes will desensitise people. Personality I try to avoid the explicit stuff as much as possible.
I’m afraid you may be right about this. Exposure to horrific news has a tendency to do just that.
My disability support person at school got a different job so I don’t have any support until March, and also I was technically assaulted at work and also I am still spiralling about that person I gave bad directions to.
Volunteering has been good though. Everyone has been nice to each other there. Doctors love giving vague references to future appointments they then don’t book and not telling people about their rights but once reminded they do their thing pretty well.I hate this country so much I hope ww3 happens very soon and we get 1000 nukes dropped on us to obliterate us from the earth. Why is it so difficult to get even basic healthcare? My neuropathy got so bad I started taking my folic acid again. My bladder flared up so badly I can’t get a wink of sleep. The bladder sachets the GP gave me are useless. He referred me to the NHS dietician because of all this, to try and find some kind of substitute for the folic acid tablets. The dietician said I’m on the waiting list but in the meantime I should ask the GP to refer me to the hospital for a folate infusion - where they would put folate directly into my blood with an IV drip. So yesterday I went through the whole rigmarole of trying to get a GP appointment, turning up at the crack of dawn, getting in line, waiting, got put on the triage list for a phone call, and in the end they didn’t even bother phoning me. So I went back again this morning and went through the whole thing again to be told they didn’t bother phoning me as they can see I haven’t actually had an appointment with the dietician yet, and they need the dietician to tell them to do this. The dietician department say they don’t know who said I should get the folate infusion and they’re trying to find out. The whole thing is a mess and in the meantime my neuropathy is so bad I’ve now lost movement in two toes on the right foot. Just nuke this shit hole now.
to be told they didn’t bother phoning me as they can see I haven’t actually had an appointment with the dietician yet, and they need the dietician to tell them to do this. The dietician department say they don’t know who said I should get the folate infusion and they’re trying to find out
What the actual fuck is going on over there on the island? Like, holy heck, does anyone of these people communicate with each other? I’m sorry again that you have to deal with this, and losing movement in two toes is absolutely terrifying. Is there any other option left? Anything you could try?
I got an appointment with a GP today, because of the folic acid I now have full blown cystitis again. Also my blood test shows that the folic acid has raised my folate level just enough to not be currently eligible for an NHS IV folate drip. Still low level though. The doctor gave me some antibiotics for the bladder and said if I can’t take the tablets any more, all we can do is wait for my folate level to drop down lower again and then maybe I can get the IV. She told me to get my levels retested at the end of March. And I am really terrified about the neurological symptoms and loss of movement in my toes but I am still on the waiting list to see a neurologist about that. Although all the GPs tell me it’s almost certainly the low folate levels causing it and nothing the neurologist can do. Like everything, I have to wait until the situation gets worse before they do anything.
That’s… literally not a solution, that’s just leaving you hanging. What the actual fuck?!
I’ve just accepted that this is what passes for medical care and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I’ve even tried complaining to my local MP but he does nothing, usually doesn’t even respond. I’m just powerless to change things.
Shit. I gave someone bus directions and I forgot to tell them when to get off. If they don’t realise theyre gonna be screwed. I’m having a bad time both with the guilt over that and about making their possible misfortune about me.
Oh no :( Is it possible they can guess when/where they have to get off?
Given the context (They were discussing how to get somewhere with someone over the phone and were running out of power and neither person was communicating well) probably not. I’m so worried I screwed this person
Maybe, but honestly, they sound all over the place already, I don’t think you made it worse.
I guess. I still feel bad about it though. I want to help not just not make it worse.
I’m sure they eventually arrived where they wanted to go, but I understand where you’re coming from. They’ll be fine, and so will you
So I have a psychotic disorder, so I sometimes experience things that didn’t really happen. This does not make what happened any less traumatic, but it does change how people treat my experience. If someone came to me saying what I’m preparing to say, I know I would try to be as validating of their trauma and try to help them as much as I could, but for some reason I just can’t extend the same treatment to myself. So I’ll put it here and throw myself on your mercy. Even if you can’t be validating, please be kind. I’m not trying to hurt anybody.
CW: SA
When I was younger, I had a hallucination that affected all of my senses that was of a woman SAing me. I guess that’s the whole story. I used to have more frequent, vivid, and senseful(?) hallucinations than I do now, before I started taking medication. I’ve been terrified of the dark ever since, and still hear her voice in my head from time to time. I feel like I can’t move on in part because I can’t escape her and in part because I feel like its unreality invalidates every feeling I’ve had about it. I try not to invade spaces where people talk about this kind of trauma, because I do understand there is a big difference between what happened to me and what happened to them. Mine was a fabrication, an image of something; while theirs is real, and many of them have physical consequences of that. I just want somebody to tell me it’s okay to feel afraid and hurt and a little sick about it. I need to move on… somehow.
same CW
I have Dissosciative Identity Disorder so not quite the same, but a lot of us struggle with this sort of “trauma that isn’t actually real”. Though we call it intratrauma, as it is trauma that happens internally (in headspace, usually).
Generally my opinion is. Even if something isn’t “real”, if you are having a trauma response to it, then it is real according to your nervous system. If you have meaningfully changed your behaviour due to your trauma, you are experiencing real trauma symptoms. While I do agree that it’s not the same as actually being assaulted, it’s still traumatic and you deserve to acknowledge it as such. Anything else is doing the thing where you don’t consider your trauma valid cos some people have it worse and that’s no good
That makes sense, thank you.
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I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that, especially so alone since many people don’t understand. A trauma is a trauma and the event itself doesn’t matter as much as the harm its done. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
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My psychiatrist f%#ked up and gave me too little pills to last until the next visit with him, so I went without my antidepressant medication for at least a week. The withdrawal symptoms were horrible, anxiety, depression, head and stomach aches, etc.
Oh no, withdrawals like that from antidepressants are awful.
If you ever encounter this in the future, or if anyone else reads this and they’re wondering what you can do, try contacting your psych/their receptionist to explain the issue and seek advice. Sometimes they can pull through with a solution for you.
You can also try speaking to your pharmacist. Aim for the pharmacy that you regularly go to, if possible, and explain the situation to the pharmacist. They should be able to see your prescription history and they will notice that there has been a change in count/dosage. Often they will be able to provide you with extra to make up the shortfall then and there or they might contact your prescribing doctor to get approval to make up the shortfall. Pharmacists get priority for these things so trust me, even if you can’t get through to your psych the pharmacist will have far better luck. Attending in person is the better option but phone calls work too. (The solutions that the pharmacist can provide you will depend on the drug in question and your local regulations.)
But they don’t tell you these things. They never do. You’re just expected to know.
Congrats on making it through what sounds like a hellish week.
I’m so sorry sweetie. Do you have your medications now? And I hope your symptoms go away quickly
Yes. My symptoms largely went away after a day or too. Thank you for your sympathy.
