So, my friend Steve insists that he is fine but always seems angry/talks in an annoyed or frustrated tone and it makes me sad. He doesn’t seem to care about anything and he says he cares about me but he’s so dry, usually depressed, and doesn’t wanna talk about it, insisting he’s fine and doesn’t talk to me at ALL. It’s really draining but I feel like a bad person. I wanna be there for him but I just feel like I’m bothering Steve.
How have you tried to talk about it?
A casual “Hey, man…you okay lately?” may not work. As men, we’re conditioned all our lives to ignore things and keep going. He may not want to impose on you, might feel that you’re asking casually or out of a feeling of obligation, etc etc etc
Have you sat him down and actually explained to him honestly that you’re worried about him and that you care about his wellbeing?
If you’ve been open and honest about your worries and he’s still closed off, Steve probably needs professional help, but pro help only helps people who want to be helped. You can offer the horse water, but that’s all you can do. Steve has to make the decision to work on getting better himself.
Thank you. I have asked, and he just keeps saying hes fine in a grumpy tone. I just want my old friend back, but sadly he probably was depressed for a long time and I’m just seeing it more
Friend of mine was like that. He started be grumpier and angry—even mean—to his partner. Another friend who was on anti-depressants pointed out his behavior and talked about the medication he was on.
That convinced the “grumpy” one to talk to his doctor. He got on anti-depressants and it evened him right out.
Maybe, you’re not the right person he needs to hear it from? Talk to his other friends and family if you can especially if any of them have dealt with similar issues.