CW: religious trauma etc.
I still think about whether I should tell the truth to my mother. Like “I don’t believe our religion is the truth.” (religion is a cult)
She does seem like she knows I don’t believe anymore. She asks that sometimes but I always deflect. It’s obvious tbh. She doesn’t seem the type of mother to kick me out of the house due to change of beliefs but she would tell other people. I love her a lot but she could do that.
It would be a clean break if she did. People in this cult would stop talking to me. Some have already cut me off due to how “weak” and “unresponsive to God” I look. Even some that I’ve known for years. Never had a true friend, I suppose.
I’m not really asking for advice on whether I should tell the truth to her or not. You don’t know my mother nor me so whatever happens is my decision. I could always just bid my time and fade slowly. However long that is and however many lies I have to tell. Lying hurts.
Really, it’s just venting about how funny it is that other revolutionaries did so many things under the threat of death and I’m here afraid of talking to my mother.
I remember when I finally woke up a year ago and I wrote in my diary “Today God died in my heart”. Well, I think his corpse is still there. A false idol that was there since my birth.
Well anyways, thanks for reading. I’m still gonna have my life. I hope so.
(Also, I am aware that not all religions are like this. I’m an atheist not a reddit atheist)
The Atom, made in The Image, was either intersex or androgynous, depending on which rabbi was arguing the point (androgyne won, for reasons, but some firmly maintain intersex). I’ll add this includes the full range of human thought and emotion, right down to the Tanakah explicitly saying G-d created evil.
Christians weren’t taught any of this, and also completely changed and deliberately misinterpreted the teachings of the merksvists (and we don’t really know that one of those merkavists, elevated to deity probably after the fact, if one single such entity ever existed at all), to solidify the rule of a Roman emperor. While it’s not their fault they don’t know and weren’t taught better, it is their fault they claim to be so into their faith and fail to do the most rudimentary research.
All this to say, if you ever encounter these sorts again, now you know, and can remind them Yeshua Ben Yoseph was a Jew, and Christians are supposed to follow his faith (although he was a heretic by Jewish standards, too, which is interesting, since their kabbalah teaches merkavism, which may have it’s roots in ancient Egyptian religious traditions). And that he said he didn’t come to accomplish the law, but fulfill it.
Sorry for the rant, it’s just irksome, probably because it reminds me of me, before I stopped trying to fit in.