i really like being with other human beings and it weirds me out how complacent westerners are with being alone. theres this talk about ”self love” and sure you should be nice to yourself and have self worth but that will never feed the primal need to have friends. they talk about enjoying your own company but company is being with others so to me it sounds like an oxymoron. i even see westerners talk about how you dont even need a friend group and having one friend is fine. i made a list of 25 things i want to achieve before 25 and one of them is a stable reliable friend group (and being a reliable friend in return) and i dedicate myself to humans a lot. i read more books now because its not just words on a paper but somebodys labour and thoughts. i started doing things for people and even when i dont get something in return i feel fulfillment.
When the only people around are the ones who will bleed you emotionally dry because of drug-fueled or disregulated emotional ego entitlement, alone is ok. Like I’m here for you, but not when you consistently refuse to do the work that I can’t do for you.
Wouldn’t say alone is okay but rather it’s the least worst option which goes to show how fucked that environment is.
I think (hope?) I’m mostly past “least worst option.” I’ve been in a few relationships, platonic, romantic, familial that made me realize there’s way worse things than dying alone. I can’t say it’s my first or last choice, because it’s dependent on the variables and implications, and in the end, no matter whether we’re alone or not, it doesn’t mean we will or won’t be alone or having a great or miserable time, when life ends.