Free time isn’t just time spent doing nothing. Free time is the time you have where you get to choose what you do. Volunteering, passion projects, playing sports, going to the gym, joining a band, gardening… thats all optional things that you have chosen to fill your free time
…like choosing to have kids…? The choice is there… you just have to live with the fact that, as a parent, you decided to spend your free time for the next 18+ years in one decision.
Edit… not specifically talking about ‘you’… the colloquial ‘you’
The issue is if you choose to have kids, and that’s already assuming there was a choice which is not always the case. You can never get that time back. You must care for a child, if you do not that’s prison time. Even meeting the bare legal standards wouldn’t be moral, meaning you must give up more time.
If I decide not to do my hobby one weekend and binge Netflix instead that’s fine. It is my free time and there are no consequences in changing how I spend it. Caring for a child is an obligation.
I wish we lived in a society where every child was wanted and brought into this world by people fully prepared and understanding of the time commitments necessary to raise a child. Unfortunately that is not the world we live in
the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” exists for a reason. if we’re talking about wishing we lived in a different society, i wish we lived in one where kids weren’t treated like their parents property and the responsibility for raising them fell on the collective rather than only the two people who produced them. it wouldnt be such a burden if people had some real fucking help for a change.
I still don’t see a reason to reinvent the definition of free time though. In terms of this post and the conversation we should be concerned about other people’s entitlement instead.
I don’t think it’s a debate on the dictionary definition of free time as much as it is philosophical one to decide how one choice fundamentally differs from another in OPs scenario. You join a bowling team and bail on them one weekend and you’ve let your teammates down. You leave your kid with the in-laws one weekend to go on a romantic weekend getaway and everyone benefits.
I would argue that there’s no fundamental nobility to raising kids as long as you chose to have them, and I’d also argue that time spent with the family you chose to have absolutely counts as free time.
All I did was ask you to look at the context of the conversation.
Personally I agree with most of your statements, the issue is they weren’t what I was discussing at all.
Like it’s entirely possible to not change the definition of free time and acknowledge nobody gets to judge you for having it because of their personal choices
That’s exactly why I didn’t choose examples like doing nothing, playing sports, going to the gym, games, gardening, etc. I realize “free time” is a nebulous, imprecise term that people have different opinions about. But for me, it’s about time without commitments. And of course it’s optional! Hell, even the job I need to survive is technically optional: I don’t have free time when I’m scheduled to work, but I very easily could, for either my next workday, or longer…
Free time isn’t just time spent doing nothing. Free time is the time you have where you get to choose what you do. Volunteering, passion projects, playing sports, going to the gym, joining a band, gardening… thats all optional things that you have chosen to fill your free time
…like choosing to have kids…? The choice is there… you just have to live with the fact that, as a parent, you decided to spend your free time for the next 18+ years in one decision.
Edit… not specifically talking about ‘you’… the colloquial ‘you’
The issue is if you choose to have kids, and that’s already assuming there was a choice which is not always the case. You can never get that time back. You must care for a child, if you do not that’s prison time. Even meeting the bare legal standards wouldn’t be moral, meaning you must give up more time.
If I decide not to do my hobby one weekend and binge Netflix instead that’s fine. It is my free time and there are no consequences in changing how I spend it. Caring for a child is an obligation.
I wish we lived in a society where every child was wanted and brought into this world by people fully prepared and understanding of the time commitments necessary to raise a child. Unfortunately that is not the world we live in
the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” exists for a reason. if we’re talking about wishing we lived in a different society, i wish we lived in one where kids weren’t treated like their parents property and the responsibility for raising them fell on the collective rather than only the two people who produced them. it wouldnt be such a burden if people had some real fucking help for a change.
Yeah I can agree to all of that.
I still don’t see a reason to reinvent the definition of free time though. In terms of this post and the conversation we should be concerned about other people’s entitlement instead.
I don’t think it’s a debate on the dictionary definition of free time as much as it is philosophical one to decide how one choice fundamentally differs from another in OPs scenario. You join a bowling team and bail on them one weekend and you’ve let your teammates down. You leave your kid with the in-laws one weekend to go on a romantic weekend getaway and everyone benefits.
I would argue that there’s no fundamental nobility to raising kids as long as you chose to have them, and I’d also argue that time spent with the family you chose to have absolutely counts as free time.
The OP of the comment thread was very much so arguing the definition of free time. They were actively trying to redefine it as time to do nothing.
Missing the forest for the trees here bud
All I did was ask you to look at the context of the conversation.
Personally I agree with most of your statements, the issue is they weren’t what I was discussing at all.
Like it’s entirely possible to not change the definition of free time and acknowledge nobody gets to judge you for having it because of their personal choices
My parents didn’t care for me at all, my dad even abused me for the incredibly short time he was around me and guess what? No one went to jail.
Sorry to hear that. They should have, our justice system often fails those who need it most
That’s exactly why I didn’t choose examples like doing nothing, playing sports, going to the gym, games, gardening, etc. I realize “free time” is a nebulous, imprecise term that people have different opinions about. But for me, it’s about time without commitments. And of course it’s optional! Hell, even the job I need to survive is technically optional: I don’t have free time when I’m scheduled to work, but I very easily could, for either my next workday, or longer…