Russia has been accused of sending secret agents to break into and defecate in the homes of Finnish politicians.

It has emerged that at least 20 MPs have reported mysterious break-ins at their homes, with one saying he found faeces in his bathroom.

MP Ben Zyskowicz, senior MP for Finland’s ruling centre-Right National Coalition Party, believes the break-ins are part of a Russian plot to intimidate the country’s politicians.

‘It’s a way for the Russian intelligence service to show that people are being monitored, a way to create confusion or concerns,’ Mr Zyskowicz said.

Jussi Halla-aho, the speaker of the Finnish parliament, said he was launching an investigation into the ‘significant’ series of break-ins.

source (daily mail link)

  • EatMoreMacroplastics [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    39·
    3 days ago

    It’s a way for the Russian intelligence service to show that people are being monitored

    Newsflash: When you spy on politicians, you want the kind of surveilance that people don’t notice because it’s actually about gathering information, not about controlling the general populace by means of a panopticon.

    So we can safely conclude that joining NATO has made Finns so unhinged that now they’re blaming Putin when they forget to flush their own shit.

    • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      16·
      3 days ago

      This is how westerners believe russian intelligence operations work:

      You had spent seven years training in a top-secret bunker beneath the Siberian permafrost, preparing to become the KGB’s most lethal weapon. You became an expert in assassination, deception and clandestine operations. You wrestled bears. You survived two months alone in the taiga on nothing but vodka and cigarettes. You mastered the dark, forbidden arts of Marxism-Leninism. At last, you were ready to serve the Motherland.

      Your insertion into Finland had cost the lives of seven KGB agents, compromised spy networks in three countries, and brought the world to within thirty-seven minutes of nuclear holocaust. But the sacrifice was worth it. You were finally in position to strike a decisive blow against the enemies of Mother Russia.

      Now you stand late at night on a deserted railway platform in Helsinki. Your handler emerges from the shadows: a one-armed veteran of Stalingrad, too stubborn to retire — or die. Without saying a word he hands you a manila envelope containing your first assignment. Inside is a sheet of paper with two sentences typed in Cyrillic:

      Go poop in a politician’s toilet.

      Do not flush.

    • Hexamerous [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
      16·
      3 days ago

      If that’s the case it really exemplifies how a lot of propaganda is dependent on people “allowing” themselves to believe in it. Seeing how absolutely ridiculous this is.

  • thelastaxolotl [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    53·
    3 days ago

    eu-cool “No honey i didnt forgot to flush the toilet, It was those Darn Russians who broke into our house only to use our toilet and didnt flush in order to incriminate me”

  • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    29·
    3 days ago

    You can’t expect anyone to believe this in the era of the doorbell camera.

    There is absolutely no fucking way that MPs do not have cameras outside their homes and would not have evidence if there were break ins. Even the Daily Mail comments section is calling this fake.

    That’s not even to mention the DNA evidence…

  • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    27·
    3 days ago

    If we follow the principle of every accusation is a confession, does this mean that western spies are trying to poop in Russian politicians’ toilets?

    • purpleworm [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
      20·
      3 days ago

      I think it just means one guy shat in his bathroom but didn’t quite make it to the bowl, so the accusation/confession is “the Russians/I shat on my bathroom floor”

      • huf [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        21·
        3 days ago

        man with extremely divorced guy energy trying to save his crumbling marriage: “no honey, it wasnt me that shat on the floor and didnt clean it up, it was putin!”