(Houston, TX) As the race for Senate in Texas continues to heat up, the Texas Republican Party has released a “recommended polling place” map to help their voters. “This race is about integrity,” said Angelina Kramp, a Republican spokesperson, “and we want to make sure Ken’s voters aren’t judged for theirs.” The list of poll stations contains mostly gated or retirement communities, megachurches, and gun range gift shops, but Kramp says the list is curated further than typical MAGA strongholds.

“You might think everywhere you see a BMW is safe, but the number of tech companies moving into the state has made it difficult to tell who is liberal. Our AI considers this, as well as other issues - Some churches may be near a gun range, but you might pass an elementary school, and question what effect your vote will have on the future. Also, the web site specifically routes you by as few gas stations as possible, and Iraan, Texas, is completely out.”

Republicans say they’re glad for the anonymity. One Dallas cow detangler who asked not to give his name said, “sometimes you have to hold your nose and hit the red button, but I don’t want people to know for sure how I voted. I mean, look at what trump did.”

The list is available now, for a $19/month subscription fee on the state party website.