I was reconnecting with an acquaintance after a long time, asking how their job search was going on. For context I’ve been unemployed since my graduation last year. They, in good faith, suggested messaging people on LinkedIn directly, and thats a better chance of securing atleast an interview compared to normal application. This felt like a slow motion gut punch, because

• my job search ‘strategy’ has been mostly tailoring my CV and writing ‘motivation’ letters to stroke the companies ego. Given my ADD, that was already hard. Now I’ve to find the correct people too?
• my ADD medication was botched for long because the doctor and psychologist couldn’t be bothered to be informed about the effectiveness of different brands, and that is something i had to find out on my own
• the previous point had made me bitter, and for a long time I was angry with them, holding them partially responsible for me not getting a job
• but maybe I should’ve taken ‘personal responsibility™’ and changed my strategy earlier. This way I wouldn’t have to return to my toxic household.
• i also saw other classmates getting jobs, but i didn’t even though i had experience before. I strongly suspect ageism is being practiced, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

Of course after some time and tears, I ‘recovered’.