vice.com Remember ‘Boy Meets Boy’? The 2003 Gay Dating Show With an Absolutely Wild Twist. Haley Miller 4–5 minutes
Boy Meets Boy was one of those reality shows that could have only existed in the early 2000s. When television producers seemed determined to find increasingly ridiculous ways to turn dating into a competitive sport, Bravo decided to put its own spin on the traditional Bachelor formula. The network introduced something entirely new: a dating show centered on a gay man looking for love. The catch? Not everyone competing for his affection was actually gay.
Premiering on July 29, 2003, Boy Meets Boy was a six-episode experiment that arrived at a particularly interesting moment for LGBTQ representation on mainstream television. Alongside Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which premiered just days earlier, the series helped establish Bravo as a network willing to put queer men at the center of its programming. Unfortunately, its approach was a little more complicated than anticipated.
Hosted by British television personality Dani Behr, the series followed 32-year-old James Getzlaff, a Los Angeles human resources manager searching for a romantic partner among 15 male contestants. Filmed in Palm Springs, California, the men lived together, participated in group activities, and went on individual dates with James. Much like The Bachelor, the show gradually eliminated contestants until only one lucky man remained. James also brought along his best friend, Andra Stasko, who acted as a confidante and sounding board throughout the process. Bravo’s First Gay Dating Show Had a Cruel Twist That Sparked Controversy
But James didn’t know a key detail: some of the contestants were straight men recruited to compete for a cash prize. If James chose a gay contestant, the pair would receive a monetary reward and a romantic vacation to New Zealand. If he chose a straight man, that contestant would walk away with the money, leaving James empty-handed.
The twist wasn’t revealed until James had narrowed the competition down to its final three. Suddenly, what had appeared to be a fairly straightforward search for love became a ?. Would James find love or choose someone playing along for financial gain. The emotional stakes couldn’t have been any higher.
While the concept certainly made for compelling television, it also attracted criticism from LGBTQ+ viewers and advocacy groups. The idea of deliberately deceiving a gay man about the intentions of his potential romantic partners struck many as unnecessarily cruel, particularly at a time when queer relationships were still fighting for meaningful representation on television. There were also concerns that the premise relied on stereotypes about sexuality and encouraged viewers to question whether they could identify someone’s sexual orientation based on appearance or behavior.
Fortunately, James correctly identified Franklin as the straight contestant and chose Wes Culwell as his final mate. The two walked away with their promised trip to New Zealand, although whether reality television is the ideal place to find lasting romance is another question entirely.
Boy Meets Boy never returned for a second season, but its brief existence remains an interesting footnote in reality television history. In 2004, it earned a GLAAD Media Award nomination for Outstanding Reality Program. Looking back, it’s a fascinating reminder of how far queer representation on television has come, but also how often early attempts at inclusion came packaged with an unnecessary gimmick.
That’s so messed up, but unfortunately it’s not the worst one I’ve heard of.
It’s got nothing on ‘There’s Something About Miriam.’ An early 2000s bachelorette style reality TV show where the woman was trans, but they only reveal that at the very end, and in a purposefully transphobic way (‘I used to be a man’ or something along that quote).
There’s a podcast and a documentary about it. The woman in question, Miriam, eventually killed herself. When you see the reveals, it’s horrifying how she’s treated. I’m not completely unsympathetic to some of the guys, because it is the early 2000s and it would have been rough on them because of homophobia and transphobia (some of those guys just suck though), but anyway, everything about the situation sucked. I believe it never even aired.
Reality TV was a mistake. Just look at that 2000s reality TV show that helped boost a child sex trafficker into government.
“reality TV show that helped boost a child sex trafficker into government”
Do you know how little that narrows it down?
Hell, the very first reality show was based on pitting people that would naturally hate each other into the same house, giving them the maximum chance to fight, and only showing the most exciting bits to make it like they were fighting all the time. The Real World was that show, and it was one of the worse templates to copy from.
Of course, once it get copied to infinity, the only way to go is further down the drain.
Also, media has been pretty fucking awful to trans people.
“I was born a man” the ads were so spammed that I remember that all these years later despite being a literal child at the time and never watched it.
Wow, that’s a blast from the past. I never watched the show, but was very aware of it because it aired on Network Ten in Australia which I used to watch for The Simpsons.
Yeah based on the few episodes I saw when I was like 10 or whatever, I thought it was funny, but only recently did I find myself thinking that it’s, eh, a bit messed up.
When you say you believe it never even aired, do you mean the show itself or the documentary about it? Because the show definitely did, at least in my country where it was translated to “Miriam’s secret”
Suddenly, what had appeared to be a fairly straightforward search for love became a ?.
Did… Did they publish an unfinished article? 🤔
Yeah that’s a pretty awful twist
“This is BULLSHIT!!!”
Sounds like the basis for ‘traitors’.
