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Taliban won in sandals
Who wouldn’t beat the US military is a better question. They have a pretty abyssmal track record, and they didn’t even do the heavy lifting in the wars they were on the right side of.
Unless it is a money burning competition, I suppose.
A turtle can defeat the US military merely by waiting
The Kyuubi would basically decimate huge swaths of the US military assuming they go with conventional methods.
Critical support to Kurama in their struggle against U.S. imperialism!