• espentan@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Salmon of Knowledge:

    … an ordinary salmon ate nine hazelnuts that fell into the Well of Wisdom (an Tobar Segais) from nine hazel trees that surrounded the well. By this act, the salmon gained all the world’s knowledge.

    Imagine possessing all the knowledge in the world, as a fish at the bottom of a dark well. Must’ve been maddening…

    • Thomrade@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      What’s even more maddening, there was a fisherman named Finn who dedicated his life to catching the salmon. Every day he got up and laid a trap for it, and every day the salmon outsmarted him. But finally one day, after seven years of failures he managed to catch it. So he guts the fish and sticks it over the fire to cook it, but hes dying to take a piss and is afraid to keave the salmon in case it burns and is ruined. Up walks Half-man half-god, all party animal Fionn mac Cumhaill (transliteration: Finn McCool, there’s a lot of people named Finn in Irish folklore) and says “hey man whats going on”

      The fisherman explains his predicament asks him “Hey can you do me a favor and watch this salmon while I run off for a piss, but don’t eat it!”

      “No prob” says Fionn and off the fisherman runs. Fionn sits down and watches the fish. After some time he notices a blister appearing on the side of the fish so he pokes it to pop it, but burns his thumb. Just as the fisherman comes back from releiving himself Fionn sticks his thumb in his mouth to suck it, to cool off the burn, and wouldn’t you know it, is suddenly granted with all the knowledge and wisdom of mankind. His eyes glow blue.

      “Balls” says the fisherman. “I was going to eat that” and Fionn apologises and while the fisherman is intialky angryz he forgives Fionn, because hes a half-god and has a thing for killing people and could probably tear him in half. and from that day on whenever he needs to think or understand something on a deeper level, he just bites his thumb and the answer comes to him.