ICantStopSuckingDick [comrade/them]

im busy

Basic Income? I’ll wait for Advanced Income

to everyone edging right now

I’m not some kind of pervert that would write that explicitly

damn most guys telling me they got magical balls only got 2

Ok this is gonna be awesome, trust, me. Imagine you got a friend who likes to fluff, a friend who likes to blow loads, a friend who likes to get blasted, and a friend who likes to swallow. Alright, we get it, you’re privileged. The average person only knows one person who likes one thing. Now imagine an app that automatically does match making and schedules the fluffer, the blast target, the swallower, and the package to all meet up just in time do their roles. We’ll call it Swallumloads. First, we’ll need a blockchain, we’ll call the tokens Strokens, and the match making will be powered by a 4 way reverse auction. The roles in highest demand will be offered Strokens (Swallumloads tokens) and the roles in least demand will receive tokens. Think of it like Uber for boners.

for the rest of us, a good captain always goes down on her ship.

He is my King Dedede, and I am his Kirby.

all of those poor unswallowed loads

I honestly thought I was posting this to memes@hexbear lol

Silently, I slithered through the shadows and reached the sperm silo, my grotesque visage hidden beneath the cloak of darkness. There, inside, was a treasure of unimaginable delight. A forbidden trove awaited me—the sperm bank, festooned with locks and wards meant to keep the ordinary away from the extraordinary.

With obscene vigor, I shattered the locks, revealing the well-guarded treasures within. The pregnant air pulled out an array of aromas, but one beckoned me most—a symphony of pale delights, in tanks of frozen splendor. The mortals referred to it as “semen,” but my eldritch senses detected nuances beyond their comprehension.

In this sacrosanct chamber of the cumlinary unknown, I reveled in the delectable offerings of man-juice, nectar of the bovine, and semenal elixir. I reveled in it all—be it black, white, asian, middle eastern, or the uddermost secretion of the horniest of ripped bulls. I quaffed their offerings with the shamelessness of a cosmic glutton, for my unholy purpose transcended moral restraint.

Each vial I violated yielded a distinct flavor of succulent otherworldly origin. The words of the mortals failed to capture the ambrosial variations I relished—thin and runny, thick and chunky, sand-yellow, creamy-white, among others. The textures and viscosities of each curdled enigma sent shivers of perverse satisfaction through my nameless form. My claws eagerly let webs of the fastly thawn goo pave the highway from the tip of my tongue to the back of my throat.

As I reveled in the dairy-drenched debauchery, the facility whispered its secrets to me—an occult knowledge of erection, edging, frenulum, and CBT. I, a creature of unfathomable head, had become an unholy connoisseur of spooge, cum, and jizzly aberrant fluids. I am a living sperminomicron.

My grotesque act of thievery completed, I slithered back into the shadows, leaving behind a twisted, violated walk-in-refrigerator and the terrified sperm bank employees who would never fully understand the cosmic atrocity that had taken place. My grotesque existence was intertwined with the mundane, and the memory of that night would haunt the dreams of all who dared venture into the unknown, seeking the truth behind the grotesque mysteries of the eldritch cum tasting.

All pollinators are important.

no you still do, trust me

I think the most contrarian take you’ll get is that it’s not equivalent with FGM like some redditors would say.

That would only be an appropriate response to saying “what about men” in a thread about FGM, which I have seen a million times, but I’ve never seen a stray post on circumcision that would warrant it.

and the remaining letters? That’s the way Russian’s pronounce erection.