Moonstruck_Theorist [he/him, they/them]

I prefer the podcast tbh

deadnames: SterlingPooper, Wendy_Pleakley

  • 3 Posts
  • 138 Comments
Joined 5 个月前
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Cake day: 2025年8月9日

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  • rambling about friendship

    My social anxiety and, well, autism, frequently lead me to questions such as, “How does one have old friends” or “How do you get people to shop with you” or “What sorts of decisions go into choosing a chosen family”

    I feel like one of those rich people who wanted to sponsor an arctic expedition in the 1800s, except I just want to assemble a group of people who like me

    These are not terms under which anyone has ever thought about friendship.

    But I go to meetups and I’m silent. I don’t know what to say to strangers. Especially when they all know each other. I usually just try to run out the clock.

    I go to class. I don’t know what to say when everyone else is already in this cycle of familiarity and nobody is leaping out at me. Nobody is like, meeting each other for the first time five months into the semester. Nobody is getting to know anybody.

    When am I supposed to be building the one on one? I don’t see anyone, ever. I don’t know if there’s a normal ratio of online to offline. I don’t know if there’s a normal number of people or frequency of messages or what. I feel like I’m going crazy.












  • There’s no shame in stopping, or in taking a break.

    Another perspective: you aren’t enjoying playing. Do you enjoy listening? Do you have music you just like to sit and listen to?

    There’s so many ways to engage with music, and I don’t think you’re not a musician if you take time to figure out what inspires you, if anything. Regardless of what you play, it’s a deeply personal thing to play your instrument.

    Maybe give yourself permission to just not try for a bit, and see how you feel if you were to “decide” to be done.

    Source: am musician, have dealt with burnout, have had to think a lot about why