He isn’t? Could have fooled me.

Tommy Heathcliff

How did he get a job opening for Trump? I thought they hated the gays.

Water is wet, UN Official Warns.

All you have to do is look at the proposed tax plans and you know exactly why. These money-hoarding shit stains on humanity can’t spare a dime.

I am all for giving everyone a gun, guns all around!

Give a man a gun and he is gun for the gun, teach a man to gun and he can gun for the gun of his gun.

The only real solution to this is to arm the Election Officials with M4 rifles and train them to water the Tree of Liberty with the blood of every mother’s son of these shitsniffers. Give them all “Come and Take Them” flags to fly and little bunkers. They can say things like “You and what army?” Or “The day you murder my children is the day Abraham Lincoln comes back to life and takes a shit in my kitchen.” Train the kids on the Glock 19 platform and hand-to-hand combat. Let’s get proactive here and safeguard the future of our democracy.

Stop teasing me Daddy Jong-un, get your dick out and let’s fuck already.

Have you tried fucking his mother?

I have found nothing is easier than separating a boomer and their money…well other than your mother.

Good, widows and orphans over there in Gaza killing protesters, launching missiles, blowing up walkie-talkies and pagers. Not the Israeli government no sir, they are just defending themselves from the killers, these widows and orphans, I bet they are widows and orphans because they killed their husbands and parents.

Hell, an orphaned widow came to my house and shot my dad. True story, she came in yelled Admiral Akbar, and shot him dead. True story, trust me bro.

I am high as fuck and I don’t believe him.

Speaking of not believing, I can’t believe how awesome French bread pizza is.

You guys are just 2047 dead American protesters away from getting a strongly worded letter, so you better stop it…or else…oh, by the way, since you used bullets to kill that American, we will send you some more. Wouldn’t want you guys running out.

They took his retirement plan when they scooped up all those classified docs lol.

Damn it, now we have Doomsday fish AIDS. I hope you’re happy now oceangoers.

I am still holding out that they dropped the 15 federal indictments so he would be emboldened and hang himself with all the rope they gave him.

I live in Texas, we had a big beautiful St. Augustin yard. Thick, green, very nice. 3 years ago I quit watering it. Last year I seeded it with a mix of Buffalo Grass, Curly Mesquite Grass, and Blue Gamma. It’s almost taken over. It uses zero water, I only mowed it once the year before and twice this year because we got a boatload of rain this year unlike the year before. I stopped mowing the backyard and just removed all the wax and China berry shoots. I have all sorts of native flowers and Chili Pequin plants all over the place. The flowers are great and the birds are everywhere. Best decision I have made since I got this place.

I mean, who hasn’t trapped a woman in a dressing room and forcibly finger fucked her against her objections? Life is boring. Who hasn’t paid to fuck a porn actress while his wife was pregnant and then used campaign funds paid through a lawyer to keep her quiet? What’s the big deal?

“First off, I am very smart, maybe the smartest. My uncle was a genius so that makes me a double genius. Kammock Hairsama isn’t smart, how could she be? She isn’t even white. I am white always have been. That bitch Kamala, she is Indian, at least that’s what she says, but I’ve never seen her at a Powwow, have you? Probably not because now she says she is black. I haven’t seen her eat fried chicken. I don’t know what she is maybe no one knows I’ve heard people say that. I don’t know, people say Mr. President you are so smart why don’t you stop the carbon thing with the air like you stopped wildfires by raking the forest? I say you can’t do that, no one can because net zero is fake news. No one has seen a net zero, have you, let me tell you net zero…not a thing. How could you have a net that is zero, nets need to catch things most nets are something like net 400, lots of good nets, great nets maybe even the greatest nets here. No nets zero though no one knows, I don’t know.” - Donald “I’m Worth 2 Packs of Kools in Prison” Trump

Women are for reproduction use only. Men can fuck couches and dress up like women but their place is out in the world. Doing the tough jobs like I did when I was a US Marine, risking my life to write press releases and enjoy it in the rear, hahaha, that’s what she said. I am not weird, you’re weird. When a woman can no longer produce babies and her womb has dried up she should devote her time to raising the children of her husband’s young new baby machi…I mean grandchildren. In conclusion, Donny said I could say the n-word any time I want if he gets elected and he would also buy me a nice new sexy suede couch and he promised not to deport my brown wife and our Italian-level white children." - James David “My Preferred Name Is JD” Vance