As a general rule for dating apps, I’ve found for me, the best strategy for getting matches that turn into dates does not involve paying them. I’m not super attractive so it doesn’t just happen on it’s own, but if I leave the app alone for a few weeks/months, in an effort to drive your activity up, they will push your account to get you more matches. It works on me. I’ll use the app for a day or 2, get a bunch of matches and some dates out of it, then they dry up and I stop using it again. Rinse and repeat. It’s worked pretty consistently for a while now for me. But you have to stay completely off of it. Don’t even open it to clear notifications or boredom scroll. When they say your account is about to become inactive, don’t believe them. It’ll come around and you’ll get some notifications.

I don’t know 100% that that’s what’s going on, but it’s the thing that makes the most sense when using it gets me nothing but when I ignore the app, eventually I’ll just get 2-5 matches in a single day out of nowhere.

Don’t let them buffalo them into believing that tripe.

Milk isn’t any healthier than any other drink. It’s calcium content was considered it’s primary benefit until a long term study was done that found we don’t actually absorb calcium from milk that efficiently (like, 30-ish%). Calcium absorption in plants is much better, which makes sense since humans have been eating beans, nuts, and leafy greens far longer than dairy milk. We’re built better for that. I’m sure populations have adapted more, somewhat, but there are still many places where the lactose intolerance is the norm and they’re not all collapsing from brittle bones. The fat in milk is probably the healthiest part. You’d have to check the particular plant, but it even seems like plant-based milks might be better for all the health benefits than dairy. In general, low to moderate coffee consumption provides more health benefits than milk. You mostly just have to worry about caffeine levels.

He was a raging narcissist who perpetually thought he was smarter and more special than everyone around him. I’d say that fits pretty well with most libertarians I’ve met.

Hey! Nice to see you again! I can’t speak for the Artificer up there, but I started on .world, found my main spot in SFFA because it leans into my interests, but I kept seeing blahaj posts everywhere and generally do like the vibe. I’ve got an account on this instance because I have accounts on a lot of them and just hop around when I exhaust the new stuff in one of them (And kinda of because I still don’t fully understand the fediverse. I’m not super technically minded). I don’t curate my feed, I just keep it on All to give me a wide net for interesting stuff to read in the mornings.

I’ve spoken about this before, I’m a gender abolitionist, but I know that society isn’t there. That means that some groups need the support that society at large doesn’t give, so I try to speak up and help out where I can in my limited scope. In general, I think everyone should have the support they need in life to be happy. And I want people to be happy, so I do what I can and speak up when I can. And blahaj.zone just seems like an overall good place with nice people mostly just trying to have some fun and support each other. It’s a great and wholesome support network here and it makes me happy it exists.

Ah, that makes more sense. I’m unaware of the artist. I saw a bunch of people in the comments talking about how they would definitely vote for this Biden and thought you might be referring to them. Sounds like we agree and I made some unwarranted assumptions. My apologies!

Who are you voting for?

I’m a cis-het guy who wears nail polish every day. I live in a very conservative southern state and the only comments I get are women telling me they love the color and asking what the brand is (It’s always either Holo Taco or Mooncat). These days, no one cares. And men with nail polish is in the zeitgeist right now, so no one would make any assumptions as to the why you’re wearing it.

And I’ve been wearing nail polish for 20 years. There were times when it was an issue, but I remember this one time back in the early 2000s. I was in high school, walking through the mall and this big guy stops me. He’s tatted up, long mangly beard and torn biker leathers on, probably in his 50s. He holds up his own hand to show off his polish and tells me he loves seeing other guys with it. We talk for a bit. He then calls his wife and daughter over and tries to convince me to take his daughter’s number.

I think about that guy sometimes when I’m unsure about how people will react to how I look. Given, I am speaking from a place or severe privilege compared to you, but I want to give you a bit of perspective. My sense of style has never really fit in with those around me. I paint my nails, dye my hair. I’ve worn my share of skirts when it matched my outfit(Once I went to a drag prom with my girlfriend, then we went out for dinner afterwards. Didn’t have time to change so I was straight up wearing a plaid dress and heels. The waitress hit on me and 3 different women came up to our table to talk to me and one gave me their number). Sometimes the clothing I wear can be a bit “loud.” And over the years I’ve come to just say “fuck it.” This is me. I look this way because I think it looks good or because I like the act of doing it. People can accept that or not, but that’s a them problem. As far as I know, no one has ever assumed I was anything other than a straight cis guy, and I’ve never had any problems.

I’m not saying this to suggest you should dress in a way you’re not comfortable with yet or that you shouldn’t be on your guard sometimes. But if you’re worried about people giving a shit about nail polish while you’re taking your first steps, you likely don’t need to. I wear traditionally feminine stuff all the time if I think it looks good and don’t run into issues. Nail polish, bracelets, rings, some shirts that are definitely cut for women and are a little tight on me.

In fact, women’s shirts are a good one for you I think. They’re not all low-cut, but with the narrower shoulders and typically shorter sleeves, they do feel different on you while not looking any different to people looking. If you’re still feeling self conscious with it on you can put a loose open front shirt on over it to cover any of those features but you still get to wear it.

And if you need any tips on nail polish or nail care, I got you. Nails and nail-beds on hands that have been masculine for years just aren’t the same as hands that have been taken care of for polish from early childhood.

Man, I’m just here because I found spez’s reaction to criticism both sad and so disgustingly corporatist that I didn’t want to interact with his product anymore. But I don’t have strong opinions on that sort of thing. My internet usage is mostly just killing time between work and real life tasks. Mostly early morning while I’m just waiting for my Adderall to kick in and for it to get late enough in the morning to get started on stuff. This internet space is not a significant part of my life. But I do want my time here to be enjoyable and the weird way that people on here make subjective choices a major part of their personality and get aggressive to outsiders can be off-putting. I’m clearly not alone in this. A lot of people just want a place to casually read some interesting stuff on the internet without constantly being preached to about the moral necessity of specific computer environments everywhere you go. Enjoying it as a hobby or whatever is fine, but like, chill guys. There isn’t some Linux Hell we’ll end up in if we don’t convert before we all die.

Think about “How to feed that many people/animals”, and how to get rid of the wastes, and you’ve done on a long-way in your castle design. It’s also more interesting because suddenly, you don’t have a linear dungeon with a door and an exit, but tons of different way to access it.

I feel like I remember Matt Mercer saying something similar to this when talking about creating worlds, and then Brandon Sanderson said the same thing about his books, so I watched a few of his lectures to help with my world building.

A lot of what he does to make his worlds feel alive and real and expansive comes from putting himself in that world and thinking about what it would need to actually operate, then answer those questions with what’s available in that world. How do they feed themselves? Get water? Dispose of waste? Settle disputes? Travel when it’s too far to walk? Then you expand on those to answer what those things need.

They ride horses? Gonna need a stable and grooms and tack. Where do the grooms live? Who’s their boss and where does he go when not bossing around the grooms? Where does the tack come from? Made in house, gonna need a leatherworker and their own shop and place to live. Horses are also gonna need hay and to store it. Now you’ve got a farm and storage. A farm? Gonna need farmers. Where do they live? OP mentioned a wizard, so they have magic. Would they have used magic to make any of these jobs better/easier? Maybe the Wizard is upset about having to use his gifts to assist with lowly jobs and there’s some old note of him complaining? Now your players know to look for a wizard’s quarters from checking out the stables.

All of that just from them having horses. A little bit of follow-through can turn a boring map into a living world. It’s great.

Hey friend, I saw this post a couple days ago and it’s been sitting with me since then and I’ve been thinking about what I would say here. I know this kind of thing is tough. Passing is often seen as the most important part of transitioning, primarily because the rest of society explicitly or implicitly demands it. And if that’s important to you, that’s perfectly valid.

Personally, I’m more of a gender abolitionist. Gender is a social construct that society has tried (and kind of failed) to narrowly define and place barriers around. And we live in that society, so we can’t escape those feelings that have been forced on us and pounded into our subconscious. But it’s good to remember that it’s all bullshit. What a man looks like and what a woman looks like, even the traits that society has assigned to them aren’t rigid. There’s a wide spectrum for both with a HUGE overlap. I think this world would be a better place if we didn’t have genders, but individuals that interacted with each other as human beings who are allowed to look and feel the way that just feels natural to them without judgement or pushback. I know the world isn’t anywhere close to that, and I have doubts it could ever get there. Even holding these beliefs myself I still have subconscious thoughts intrude that contradict this ideal. But I take those moments to observe those thoughts and push back on them internally to better myself in this direction.

That being said, regardless of why you want to look more “feminine”, it’s valid and should be supported by everyone. I support you in this. Do what makes you feel happy and secure.

One more thing. I’m real bad about just letting every instance here in my feed, because I don’t want to miss out on potentially good content. So I didn’t immediately realize this was in Transfem. But when I saw your picture, I saw a woman, for what it’s worth.

Oh, well I guess they win then. Deep down they’re probably good people, so we just ignore their bigotry and allow it to proliferate further and continue to make the rest of the world a worse place for people I care about.

Fuck that. I cut out my family for being bigots. I told them specifically why and I refuse to take their phone calls. You have to let people know that those beliefs are wrong and let them know that there are social consequences for continuing to believe them. America didn’t pass the Civil Rights Act by waiting until people just came around and agreed with them. They said “This is wrong, and now illegal.” and made them deal with the consequences (Kinda. It’s still America and still pretty racist so…)

Point is, change doesn’t happen by ignoring shitty behavior. This kind of behavior needs to be confronted and shut down every time. EVERY TIME.

Oh… Bless your heart…