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15 days agoOooo hell ya! The yearning is sort of amazing
bipp [she/her]
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- 19 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: April 18th, 2024
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Happy for you! :)
Congrats! Super exciting time for you! Both the estradiol and bloodborne lol. I don’t care for fromsoft games like I used to, but that one will always hold a special place in my heart.
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Yep, nothing comes out for me either. I’ve heard that it’s different for everyone, but most people that I’ve talked to about this say the same thing sooo idk? I thought it was weird the first time but I’m happy w it now!
I believe in you and your ability to leave! I grew up in one of the reddest states and now I live in one of the bluest and it really is so much better. You find friends easier, jobs, partners etc. being trans is still harder than being cis anywhere unfortunately but I hope you can hang on because you deserve to live a life that doesn’t hurt this much. <3
It sucks in the moment but this really is one of those “time heals all” things. You’ll find your own way and the pain/anxiety will dull but I think this is something that we all go through. Try to keep busy by focusing on unpacking, diving into hobbies/friends, basically anything but sitting around and focusing on how things are different now. The nights are the hardest but you’ll get through this and soon enough it’ll feel normal. I wish there was something better I could offer but it’s just sad unfortunately, especiallyyyyyyy the feeling of leaving a home. :( Sending love!
That was… surprisingly not bad? The people were incredibly kind to me as well!
First laser appointment in 30 minutes!!! aaaaaaaaa!!
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I totally relate to that as well. You’re not faulty or fucked up, just on a journey and you’ll get there :)
I’m so happy that they had a positive impact for you :) I’m not on here a bunch, but feel free to dm me in the future for whatever reason! It’s always nice to have someone you can bounce feelings off of, irl or not <3
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:::Wow, same here. I drank a lot during the early years of covid because I could act different and blame it on that. Also just felt nice to think less about something so all-consuming. Never really drank much before that because my family has a ton of substance problems. I read through some of your other posts and I’m so sorry that you aren’t in a place where transitioning feels easier. I got lucky with my relationship, although there’s still been issues that have come up because of transitioning. But a big part of hiding it for so long was the fear that I would lose someone that I care a lot about :/.
I eventually decided that I had to pursue it regardless because once the egg is fully cracked, you can’t just put it back together. Also, I figured that if my partner wasn’t OK with me being me, then it wasn’t going to work anyways. Really scary to confront, but necessary.
None of this has been easy but it’s absolutely been worth it and I haven’t regretted a second. I really hope you can find your peace in this situation however that manifests for you but just know that you aren’t alone in your experience or your feelings
5·2 months agoBeautiful cat. It’s so hard losing pets that you hold this dear but it sounds like he was loved and cared for which is more than so many other cats can say and I’m sure he felt lucky to have you
Dysphoria/dysmorphia
I feel this way too! I think it’s a little of both tbh. Dysphoria and dysmorphia are horrible and it can be really difficult to see yourself through any other lens. I’m constantly worried that when people compliment me, it’s in a “be nice to the tr***y” kind of way but it still happens and with total strangers too like you said and I do have lots of days where I don’t hate how I look. If I had to guess, I would say that you’re just a beautiful girl but it’s difficult for you to personally see that because of the aforementioned dysphoria/dysmorphia. I hope that one day you can fully see that in yourself, but I wouldn’t really know how that manifests because I’m stuck in the same position :/
That’s a good point. Thanks for the perspective!
Yeah exactly, the lack of information is rough. I’m leaning towards keeping on as I have been because I feel like whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen either way. I just get a tinge of discomfort when I see people talking about how they couldn’t even get a prescription until a year in or something. Like I’m doing something wrong idk. It seems like I’m progressing at a pretty normal rate right now, like my chest was really tender and sore for quite some time (less sore now) and there’s definitely some growth so maybe I’m just stressing myself out over nothing
My doctor had me start on prog as soon as I started HRT and now at about 9 months in, I’m wondering if that was a good choice or not? I wish there was better research on this topic but it seems like no one knows anything concrete about it. I developed breast buds and I’m starting to fill out so idk if it hindered anything but I can’t stop second guessing?
I brought it up to her during our last appointment and she said it was fine and that lots of people start prog when they start estradiol and spiro but like… I don’t seem to see many of those people in the wild so idk? I feel like if it was gonna hurt breast development, I’m already too far in, but I think things are going fine there so far and I’m OK with not having big boobs I guess. I don’t know what to do
I’m just gonna hop on the pile here and agree with what everyone is saying. Starting HRT has made so many things make sense and it happened very quickly. Yes, you cry more, but it feels better. I actually feel like I’ve moved through my emotions when I’m done as opposed to still feeling down or strange. Also, there are tons of positive emotions that I feel now that I never felt before. I find myself smiling for no reason all the time and feeling this sense of lightness that I still can’t really describe. It’s not all bad, in fact, I would say it’s mostly better! And you can always stop if it’s too much right now!
It’ll all hit you in awhile that things are different and that feeling is the best!