I’m a little more optimistic; like yeah, all of that is definitely happening, but there is lots of genuinely helpful research being done in the US. Not everything here is rotten. China’s research output is just an order of magnitude greater. See https://www.nature.com/nature-index/institution-outputs/generate/all/global/academic for a cool list of research outputs by institution.
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this qt, it can be really tough. I found myself in a similar spot when I transitioned and moved to a rural area. It’s been two years since then and i’m extremely happy in a T4T relationship.
On “feeling like a freak,” yeah, I get that. It sucks to feel that way. Part of that perception changes with time as hormones do their thing and you fit more into a feminine role… part of it doesn’t go away. I think it’s important to realize that if people are around you and being friendly they likely don’t think you’re a freak, and acting as if they do will just make it awkward. You’re not a pervert for being trans and liking cis women. Be confident and love yourself.
Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to <3 all will be alright.