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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: December 24th, 2025

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  • Try reframing what constitutes toxicity in DBD. I know it really helped me when i started voice acting as the killer with a goofy voice. I don’t know what you consider toxic, but some suggestions: killer voice being all lovey-dovey when hitting on hook and face camping, celebratory like a kid someone let win in cards when ground humping, “excuse me maam, you dropped your wallet, hello hello, excuse me!” increasingly desperately when tunneling, etc.

    And close end game chat before reading it.


  • No sorry, I pulled it straight out of my ass.

    Or rather, I’m pretty sure I read about a study a long while back, from like finland or japan, on life expectancy. But it also aligned well with my world view so I didn’t really question it, and dont have it saved anywhere. I dont know how much of it is still, or was ever true… but I for sure would lose several years to stress and frustration being married over staying single.

    The happiness I’ve read about more recently, but the above applies here as well, though I’m more confident that this is a real thing.



  • As DM it’s exponentially more work to incorporate player backstories into campaigns. I try to do it because I think it’s more fun, even if the current adventure has no tie-ins the characters can sometimes receive updates from back home via messages or letters, telling them about their siblings taking an exam or finding work, or the leaves at home changing colours and Nanas leg is on the mend, or possible hooks for future adventures like most crops to the west unexpectedly failing or tensions building near the border. Or maybe a market in this unknown land will hold a PCs favorite type of sport/show, and going there they’ll find a clue or hook or boon or ally for the current adventure which they would’ve missed if that character didn’t insist on going (nothing story-critical of course, just an extra bit of help)… but this only works if you have players who it works for, and I’ve also had players who doesn’t really care for personalized story arcs - and have played in games where the story was intriguing enough that I could take or leave any personal tie-ins for my character.

    So it depends in the DM, the players, and the story.

    You can always talk to your DM about this. Ask if they are willing to work more of your backstory into the campaign and suggest ways to do so (dont make them do all the work). Check in with the rest of the group if they also want to weave into the story or are fine adventuring for the sake of adventuring, so you dont all of a sudden get “perks” because you were the only one to ask.

    But remember that DMing is a LOT of extra work as it is, and if they dont have the time or energy or enjoyment to work characters into the story, it wont happen (or it will but they’ll burn out, and the campaign will fizzle out).


  • If one of the partners are taking on more of the household work or childrearing, and working less hours or at a less wellpaid position to be able to do so, both partners are benefiting. But if the relationship ends, the partner who sacrificed their salary for their family have less income, fewer promotions, worse opportunities to move around in the job market, and drastically lower pension funds.

    This is one aspect where marriage can even things out. It means the spouse who benefited from having support at home to be able to further their own career, will compensate the spouse who lost opportunities for the sake of the relationship. The career opportunities and pension fund for the higher earner will benefit them after the relationship ends, so the repayment to the partner who gave them those opportunities should also continue after the relationship ends.

    There are other ways to do this without marriage, like the higher earning partner placing part of their income into a pension fund for the lower earning partner, but this wont compensate for loss of opportunities that comes with taking most child/family care days or taking long parental leave or working fewer hours per week.

    Theres also the fact that usually the purchasing within a couple is split evenly but unfairly. Perhaps one pays for the car or furnishings and the other pays for vacations and food. When splitting up, the one who bought the car still gas it, but the one who paid for the food has no belongings left. Marriage means that it doesnt matter who paid for what, you both put value into the relationship and both will leave the relationship on somewhat equal footing.

    Marriage is a promise that one partner will not be worse off in the end, for supporting the other partners ambition. That what you work towards together will benefit you both together. This of course doesn’t apply to every couple or every situation.



  • Check your local library (if you’re lucky enough to have one). Mine didn’t have any rpg adventure books in stock but they let me search their online database and I found some that looked interesting. They shipped them in for me to borrow, at no cost to me. Amazing service!

    It’s a great way to try different adventure books before buying the ones that suit your style. Some adventures are quite fleshed out and some are bare bones with plot holes you can fill however you want.

    Another thing that can help is to bounce ideas with other DMs or players that aren’t in the campaign: give one a call if you know them irl, or make a post online, if you get stuck and need inspiration. Two heads together are greater than five heads alone, believe me.

    Finally, take notes. Inspiration can come from the oddes sources, so write down anything and everything that might be usable at some point in the future: talk during the campaign, overhearing gossip about a stranger, books, movies, poems, games, dreams, working on a problem at work/school. Reading the notes back later can either be gibberish or lead to an idea to use.


  • I’ve always disliked smalltalk and never felt comfortable with it, but nowadays, and I don’t know if it’s age or isolation… nowadays I quite enjoy exchanging a few pleasantries with someone as we meet in a staircase or hallway. Just some words about the weather or encouragement for climbing the stairs or sympathy about heavy looking bags - mostly on the boring side but edging on quippy, followed by polite chuckles… it makes whatever made me go outside a little better.

    It’s still slightly uncomfortable before deciding what to comment on today, and getting that neutral-positive response, but I like it nonetheless. Feels like a routine even though I do it with different people each time. Makes me feel more at home out there.


  • Fun question!

    If poison (alcohol or other) counts, I’m dead.

    If surgeries counts, I’m soon to be dead.

    If electrocution counts, I’m likely dead (I guess it depends on how grounded I am at the time, because that’s a LOT of electricity to take at once).

    Otherwise, with someone professional help nearby, I’ll live… but not if I’m alone. I would not have use of my hands to call for help and would bleed a lot, plus concussion. My blood type can recieve from several other blood groups, so as long I’m in hospital I’m okay. None of my broken bones have been near endangering organs so im not worried about them. Probably blood loss and chock is my biggest concern, and infection from a thousand cuts in the long run. I would hopefully and probably pass out to relieve myself of the pain.


  • A woman doesn’t have to be feminine, there are plenty of masc and butch women. Would you feel more comfortable with short hair? There are also other options. Would you feel more comfortable thinking of yourself as a man (men can also be feminine or masculine), or neither, or both?

    I didn’t feel comfortable calling myself a woman, but not crossing any gender boundary, I just always preferred “girl”. I didn’t feel mature enough to be a woman until I kinda forced myself to claim that title. With enough use I now feel comfortable referring to myself as a woman.

    Titles and gender can be hard. You are allowed to experiment until you find the expression and terminology that suits you. But also, its okay to feel ridiculous, you can grow into feeling comfortable with whichever terminology you want.




  • I have had either of these two major symptoms most of my life.

    1. Unhealthy amount: not being able to stop as long as there is alcohol left, staying out til closing, often getting blackout drunk, emptying the glass before going to bed instead of into the sink. This I’ve had most of my life.

    2. Unhealthy frequency: drinking before or during social events, party every weekend, “unwinding” after work, drinking as a fix to something (like making boring tasks fun or improving my mood or to fall asleep or get energized), thinkig about it a lot, unable to resist whenever its available or offered. This slowly turned into a more and more frequent habit, until I was literally drinking at work.

    I guess there is also the final sign:

    1. Not being able to quit: this includes not even trying. I was never able to quit because I never really wanted to. Not wanting to quit is part of addiction, even when you need to. Once I tried to get in control of my drinking, I always found reason to drink pretty much as much as usual. This is when I finally realised that I was an addict. It’s easy to ignore if you never try to quit, but once you try and fail to quit (several times), it’s pretty obvious.




  • I might jot down my thoughts after a reading session or between chapters, but not taking notes like I would do for studying… More like bullet points of things I would bring up in a book club, or questions or ideas I want to remember for next time, or my own rambling musings triggered by an idea from the book. I rarely read those notes again, just writing them down is satisfying enough. I wouldn’t want to stop the experience just to do diligent note-taking, but to each their own.

    Sometimes I even skip or skim parts on a first read through and then read more thoroughly when I’m acquainted with the world, story and characters, it’s easier to pick up conplicated history or lore once I’ve gotten the main story out of the way.