• jjjalljs
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    20 days ago

    I think people that don’t spend much time in dense spaces have a limited idea of privacy.

    There’s privacy in the sense of being unseen, and there’s privacy in the sense of being unremarkable.

    I can walk down the street here and people will see me with their eyes but not their brain.

    In the suburbs where my parents live, if I walk down the street people will see and notice. It’s unusual to walk, so people take note of it. I’ve had the police stop and question me because I was walking (and I’m a white guy)

    Being completely unseen isn’t as valuable as being unremarkable to me. I can ride the train with a bunch of other people and they’ll see me, but they won’t care

    • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world
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      19 days ago

      Yeah, I had this conversation with aunt. She grew up in a rather big city, and always wanted to move into the countryside for more privacy. Well, a hurricane leveled the area she lived in. She got a shit deal from FEMA, and insurance, etc. So, on top of always wanting to move away from people, it was easier to afford.

      She regrets it, especially as she ages. The people, though farther apart, and fewer in number, are all up each-others’ asses. She said she went from being someone she doubted her neighbors fully realized existed, to everyone in the county knowing who she is, who her kids are, who her husband is, where they live, what car was theirs, etc. She said she never felt more under a microscope in her life. She said it really sunk in when she was at the store, and a woman she didn’t recognize, just said “Hey, aunt’s name, how is husband’s name leg doing?” He didn’t work in the area, like he worked a several hour drive away, she didn’t know this woman, yet she knew about her husband’s recent surgery. Now that she is aging, and has had her knees replaced, she is finding it more, and more, difficult to do basic life things, because there are so few support resources compared to where she left.

    • Piece_Maker@feddit.uk
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      18 days ago

      I got pulled over by police when I was in the US because I was riding a bike. To play devil’s advocate slightly, I was riding a crusty old Walmart BSO and I look like a scruff, and the town has a major homeless methhead problem so assumptions were made, but it still took them a while of talking to me to comprehend that I am happy to continue riding my bike, once they had at least figured out that I’m not a homeless methhead.

      • jjjalljs
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        18 days ago

        Today I learned that “BSO” (bike shaped object) is a thing. I’m only on the edge of bike riding (I use the city bike rental thing here sometimes), and from a quick search I see there are depths, here.

        • Piece_Maker@feddit.uk
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          18 days ago

          Ha! Sorry. I hear the term a lot from bike shop mechanics so it’s baked into my vocabulary at this point