I’ve been in a very dark place myself a few times. Knowing that my wife is and will always be there for me is the only thing that gave me hope for the future, even when I was at my lowest. I don’t know what you’re struggling with but I can tell you from my own experience, the darkness is not permanent.

As other commenters have said, please take advantage of the help that’s available. Your life is valuable, you are worthwhile, and the present is not the future.