In an editorial published last week titled, “If Attitudes Don’t Shift, A Political Dating Mismatch Will Threaten Marriage,” The Washington Post’s editorial board points out that political polarization in this country has reached the point where it is now a prominent, often decisive factor in determining who Americans settle on as their potential mates. They emphasize this trend is now so acute it may actually threaten the institution of marriage as a whole. In particular, it seems that Democratic women are rejecting potential Republican suitors not only for marriage but as relationship material, all across the board. The message the editorial conveys—perhaps hyperbolically, perhaps not—is that as a consequence of this shift in attitudes, marriage itself in this country is in jeopardy.
I don’t agree with how it’s presented in the article, but I do agree that declining marriage rates can be as much of a good sign as much as it’s bad.
It’s a great thing that more people, especially women, are able to decide if marriage is the right choice for them. It’s a bad thing that for people who are interested in marriage or a lifelong partner, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a partner. There is a loneliness epidemic going on, and it is getting increasingly difficult to get to know people due to rising work hours, burn out, lack of public and walkable spaces, lack of vacation days, rising costs of living, political radicalization, social distancing during covid, mental health decline, dating culture, gendered expectations, and so on.
It’s not a bad thing that people are remaining single, it’s a bad thing that for some people this choice was made for them due to the circumstances they are in. Ideally, people would get to decide whether they want to stay single or get married. Right now the options are stay single or go through the ever increasing hurdles of finding a partner when you are already struggling to get by yourself.
When people are happy, have healthcare, affordable housing, and livable wages, marriage is much more affordable. Right now, we have none of that and declining marriage rates are as much a sign that marriage has become optional as it has become non-viable.