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segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.net to Slop.@hexbear.netEnglish · 17 days ago

linkedin slop that never happened

hexbear.net

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linkedin slop that never happened

hexbear.net

segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.net to Slop.@hexbear.netEnglish · 17 days ago
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  • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    This person’s dom told them they have to write I WANT YOU TO NUT IN MY BUTT on LinkedIn as a punishment for their disobedience and this is the only way they could come up with to get away with writing that.

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    NUT IN MY BUTT

    • LeninsBeard [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago

      The lesser known sequel to Slob on my Knob

      • take_five_moments [any]@hexbear.net
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        17 days ago

        dog if that gym was playing triple 6 idk i’d go

    • MayoPete [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago

      Compromise…

      nut in my butt… for JESUS

      • AnarchoAnarchist [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        17 days ago

        https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY

        • HexReplyBot [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
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          17 days ago

          I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

          • yewtu.be
          • inv.nadeko.net
          • yt.artemislena.eu
          • piped.video
    • goferking (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
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      17 days ago

      Ngl sounds like it would keep people pumped up. Unlike most if not all Christian music

  • BeanisBrain [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    Unironically a song about consensual sex is infinitely less offensive than the patriarchal, homophobic, colonialist, child-abusing, thought-policing abomination that is Christianity

  • JustSo [she/her, any]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    I WANT YOU TO

    party-sicko NUT IN MY BUTT party-sicko

    party-sicko NUT IN MY BUTT party-sicko

    party-sicko NUT IN MY BUTT party-sicko

    party-sicko NUT party-sicko NUT party-sicko NUT party-sicko NUT party-sicko

  • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    I refuse to go to a gym unless they’re blasting Georgian chants.

    • All Ice In Chains@lemmy.ml
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      17 days ago

      Pie Iesus domine clunk

      • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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        16 days ago

        Dona eis requiem clunk

        • All Ice In Chains@lemmy.ml
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          16 days ago

          😂

  • culpritus [any]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    I am married Christian man that goes to the gym regularly. I posted “I want you to NUT IN MY BUTT” on LinkedIn. Plz send me DMs.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    The closest thing that has ever happened to this was the time I was at Planet Fitness and I used the ‘Suggest a song’ feature on the app to get them to play Just One Fix by Ministry

    And they did

    And all the seniors who were working out without headphones or ear buds went john-agony

    • Ram_The_Manparts [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      16 days ago

      Great song btw

      • FlakesBongler [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        16 days ago

        Oh yeah, love me some Ministry

        • Ram_The_Manparts [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          16 days ago

          I haven’t really listened to them since the 90’s, I should probably revisit that shit

  • peeonyou [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    cmon dude, nutting in butts is what gyms are all about

    also most of that story was irrelevant to his point

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago

      nutting in butts is what gyms are all about

      The Village People song they don’t want you to hear.

  • MayoPete [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    He said his name was Jesus

    When I’m done he’ll be saying Oh God

    You about to be crucified by my holy rod

    JESUS IS COMING

    Cuz I balls deep in him

    • miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago
      [NSFW]

      • culpritus [any]@hexbear.net
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        17 days ago

        The Holey Trinity doing a Devil’s Triangle is quite a divine apparition to receive.

        • PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
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          17 days ago

          It’s just masturbation though.

  • sexywheat [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    And then everybody clapped

    • vovchik_ilich [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago

      The manager was none other than Albert Mandela Einstein

  • segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.netOP
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    17 days ago

    deadlifting to underoath and switchfoot

    • Nondiegetic (any) @lemmygrad.ml
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      17 days ago

      deleted by creator

      • segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.netOP
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        17 days ago

        true, but i just think it’s funny to work out to this volcel anthem

        • Nondiegetic (any) @lemmygrad.ml
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          17 days ago

          deleted by creator

        • CHOPSTEEQ@lemmy.ml
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          17 days ago

          I will not tolerate slander for the only wall to wall banger Underoath album. Let this be a warning.

        • segfault11 [she/her, any]@hexbear.netOP
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          17 days ago

          for those curious i don’t have anything against switchfoot either, not a fan but i do like the Two Songs (you know which ones)

        • HexReplyBot [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
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          17 days ago

          I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

          • yewtu.be
          • inv.nadeko.net
          • yt.artemislena.eu
          • piped.video
  • iByteABit [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    Then I put my headphones on, because I know how powerful nutting in my butt is and I won’t allow that in my daydreams

    • ClassIsOver [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago

      I definitely won’t post it publicly on LinkedIn so other people will know I’m thinking about it

  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    christian music is offensive because it’s so terrible.

    also, how am i gonna get this Men’s Intermediate Twerking class pumped up at 8am on a Wednesday?

  • ThermonuclearHoxha [comrade/them, mirror/your pronouns]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    I can personally attest this actually happened, and then OOP found the light of Allah and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada on the spot.it-is-known

    • Seasonal_Peace [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago

      Converting to Islam in the holy month of Ramadan, what a blessed start into a new life.

  • DogThatWentGorp [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    17 days ago

    I don’t go to gyms because I work outside and my free time is for entering a proverbial cryotube but is the give away this is fake the “a couple of extra wrong charges” part?

    Like isn’t it all membership based? How do they have wrong charges unless there’s like a staff member walking around with a clip board billing them for whatever the hell?

    • NephewAlphaBravo [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago

      the giveaway that it’s fake is that it’s on linkedin

      • DogThatWentGorp [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        17 days ago

        Yeah but like- who’s just accidently charging you at the gym I GOTTA know

    • Lussy [he/him, des/pair]@hexbear.net
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      17 days ago

      Nah, that’s probably the most believable part about this, gyms are notoriously scummy with regards to surcharges and general douchebaggery.

      • DogThatWentGorp [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        17 days ago

        No kidding? Alright it’s rolling on logs in the river for me then.

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