I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been depressed and hopeless for the past year, not because I feel I have nothing to live for, but because I do. I’m finally a real fucking person for the first time in my life, and I’m living through a nightmare world I somewhat expected. None of this really surprised me. I knew our future would be a horrific decline for my entire adult life, but I was prepared to face it because I didn’t care whether I lived or died.

The year and a half I had as myself before I knew I’d have to live through fascism was the first time I was truly looking forward to my future. I naively hoped that I’d at least have till China invaded Taiwan to establish a life for myself without an extreme upending of the status quo, but then the worst came to pass and I knew it was only a matter of time till my future became fully criminalized.

So now all I can do is survive. To not get imprisoned and very likely die. To somehow outlast the hate directed at us and start to regain what was lost. I won’t kill myself for them; they’ll need to do it themselves.

    • adhd_traco@piefed.socialEnglish
      4·
      10 days ago

      Hah, my therapist was going through a list of countries where it would be safer with trans rights than this place in the middle east I’m at. Portugal, Iceland, etc. Not just do I also see the whole world super unstable right now anyway, but I also might just stay to fight for rights here, as my personal preference.

      Also FWIW or if you ever lose sight of your self-worth, your memes played the most significant part in my realising my gender identity better and all the good that will come from that, and I’m forever grateful for it.