Here goes…

I had a therapy session tonight, it went well just not long enough. I still have questions, I’m still really confused, I’ve never needed more time with my therapist before.

Let me start over

Hi, I’m Nissa! But also howdy, I’m Lewis. I’m not one, but both. Dual-binary as I call it. Is this a thing? Being trans doesn’t mean be this, get in the box. There is no wrong way, right?! But to let myself be Nissa I have to give up something of Lewis’s. To keep being Lewis, Nissa will continue to suffer. I can buy and wear the clothes, I can wear the make up and style my hair but it’ll only be half steps. I love my skirts but I also love my three piece suits.

I started writing this last week after my therapy session. I don’t feel like I had enough time and even started crying, not knowing what to do or what I can do. I haven’t been around much lately because I’ve felt so confused. I haven’t girlmoded in almost 2 weeks, partly because of this, partly due to outside stressors, and partly due to my wife’s stress and needing Lewis.

I did some digging today and turns out bigender is totally a thing. I can be both, there are others like me. I can rock makeup and a mustache. I can grow my hair out again and style it while still enjoying a 3 peice suit. I love painting my nails and I want to get better at it. I am honestly considering laser hair removal for everything sans mustache cuz shaving sucks.

I want to continue to be apart of this community because my trans side is fem and I need your help and support. When I’m talking to all you lovely ladies I’m Nissa, but I can be Lewis at the same time. Being here and supporting you makes me happy. I don’t know what my future holds, but that’s okay, no one really does. I know 2 things for sure:

1. I’m going to keep coming back here, sharing my stories, pics as I get more confident, and mostly to bask is the glow of all of you maybe live vicariously through you too

And B. I have a new dress at home that I’m going to try on this evening, and if I don’t hate it I’ll try and make a post

Thanks for listening

Love you all!

♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡