im about to call my mom and dad and say i need them and then just slap the shit out of them both. i cant believe they decided to have kids knowing that i would eventually have to deal with the job system. used to think that when i become an adult i will finally get to escape my abusive household and finally be happy but i was foolish to think so. now 5 decades of my life will consist of this bullshit. i will also have to deal with the Euroid Style Pension System where i somehow work for 50 fucking years of my life and they give me a check that barely covers rent. i want to visit my government building some time and ask everyone personally how they think we will do this like genuinely. how are we supposed to live when our average salary does not even cover half of rent?
i keep thinking of getting my apartment and moving out as my next big life goal but im sitting down with the thought and i realized that moving out wont magically make everything good either because you still have to pay the mortgage/rent and thats another thing over your head. i thought of graduating high school as my big life goal but now its time for me to do other things. i keep breaking down my life in milestones but im starting to think its stupid. at the end of every finish line of life there is more bullshit after that that you have to be responsible for. i have pets and i love them very much but i have to buy their supplies and pay the vet bills. everything thats supposed to make me happy or excited for life is just another onslought of bullshit. i made an effort and now have a friend group but i got unhappy with seeing them. bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit after bullshit