Pomni in this episode is acting like she is the main character in a story (which she is but stay with me), and Jax is the guarded Emo character that just needs to be shown a bit of care and affection and will come to their senses joining the rest of the group.

As someone who suffers from both CPTSD and other mental illness in real life I absolutely hate how fiction has normalized the idea that you can just “fix” these kinds of problems with a hug and pep talk during a darkest hour or that it can even be completely “fixed” at all.

Inter personal trauma is not something that can just be solved with an “I’m here for you whenever you need it”, it requires multiple good experiences with other people so that you can relearn you whats “safe”, it requires you actively confront your emotions about what caused the trauma (often in therapy, often by reliving those experiencing in a safe environment), it requires lot of time and personal growth often when no one else is around and often even with all that you will still have minor scares left behind from it.

The fact that so much of the sentiment around this show is treating Jax like she’s just supposed to get over it and be normal is insane to me.

Yes, Jax is a fictional character, but what she represents is something real world people have and are currently going through.

I, from the bottom of my heart, hate seeing people treating opening up and or letting other people in as these super easy to do obvious solutions to problems.

It’s not easy, its not something that comes naturally to some people and can be actively painful depending on who you are, something being simple for you doesn’t mean that its simple for everyone.

I, in general, don’t like how the fandom is also pushing this narrative of just be open about your feelings and everything will work out that T.V has indoctrinated us with over the years. Many people may have the privilege to get that type of treatment but it is not universal, everyone is “accepting” until your problems start to inconveniences them.

The truth is that most people wont accept you for being different, or for having problems that they don’t understand. Not wanting to put your self in a vulnerable position especially when one of your core fears is being exposed to other people is not paranoia is basic self preservation.

It brings me back to a post I saw before about how autism specifically is treated in media where intentionally or not the vast majority of media essentially says that autistic people are making up their own problems and would be perfectly accepted if they just got out of there own heads and talked to other other people. link to original post about NT Gaslighting

All NT people are open and accepting saints yet SOMEHOW almost every autistic person I’ve ever talked to remembers being bullied and excluding in school.

SOMEHOW almost every autistic person I know was either abused or neglected by their parents.

SOMEHOW autistic people have less than half the life expectancy of NT’s and are 9x as likely to kill themselves.

SOMEHOW 90% of autistic people with no learning disability are unemployed.

Every NT will always claim that they would never bully someone just because their autistic, would never fire someone just because their autistic would never undermine someone and treat them like their stupid or evil just because their autistic.Yet almost every autistic person has the experience of being bullied, fired without relevant cause and treated like there five years old by their peers and superiors.

The post I referenced above was about autism but this kind of reasoning applies to the majority of minority groups. If you where good, proper and accepting you would be accepted in return.

Another classic I’ve seen repeated is saying “It’s and explanation not an excuse” and while I understand what this phrase is trying to say, in theory, I have never seen this sentence not used as a dog whistle for ableism.

Disabled Individuals, mentally or physically, are not allowed to have problems that effect the abled population. It is always your role and responsibility to adapt to what society deems necessary for you often while having no say in the matter but god forbid you ask this to be reciprocated your now an entitled asshole who expects “everyone else” to change “Just for you”.

People who know nothing about what it’s like to be in your position are always the ones with the final say on YOUR needs and abilities.

And any “help” or basic human decency they give you is predicated on the idea that you accept their framing of your issues.

With the term “It’s an explanation not an excuse” being used as a shaming tool whenever said disabled person can not meet those expectations they had no hand in setting.

The abled person can then uses this framing to show “Just how much they have to go through to help you” and “How ungrateful you are for their assistance”.

It’s all pretense to justify why a disabled person “deserves” poor treatment or doesn’t “deserve” accommodations.

All this goes beyond just mental illness and trauma though. I have for the most part avoided talking about Jax being a trans woman as this ironically enough doesn’t have much to do with how people treat her relationships with other characters in the show but the core idea is still present.

Now again before I start I am not saying that Jax hate comes from her being trans, I am well aware that Jax was already hated long before it was confirmed that she was trans.

With that being said I’m not going to sit here and pretend that most of the rhetoric used to “disprove” that Jax is trans isn’t rhetoric also used by transphobic people against trans people.

“Their were no signs”

“Can’t I still just call you “x” like before?”

“Your a bad person so I won’t respect your identity”

“I don’t know I just don’t think theirs enough proof that your trans, have you tried “x”.”

“Well they didn’t come out to me personally so I’m just going to call them the same thing as always.”

Versions of these phrases have been used for Jax countless times after the ending.

Let us not be intentionally obtuse, no one was asking for the “foreshadowing” that Kinger had daughters or that Gangle was black hell people are more accepting of Ichigo randomly being a Quincy in bleach with no foreshadowing prior to the arc it became relevant than they are of Jax being trans.

If it was genuinely about writing we would not see essays on essays about the topic and people going insane arguing in comment sections.

Not to mention the fact that we are all aware of the culture we currently live in.

I find it very hard to believe the “I don’t mind Jax being trans it’s just poorly written” crowd when we have already scene the discourse that surrounds other “well written, well behaved” trans women.

Let us not be asked to fall for obvious deflection tactics. The goal of people going crazy every time a trans character is written into media Is so that trans people stop being written into a stories in the first place.

As is the case with most bigotry.

First it was “we don’t mind trans people just don’t change already established characters to be trans”.

Then it’s “I don’t mind trans people just don’t put them into already established universes that have nothing to do with “that stuff” it’s inappropriate” “trans people need to make their own media for themselves not “invade” our spaces”."

When new media came out with likely trans characters that fit into their universe it’s somehow “Femboy Erasure” and fans “pushing their culture onto unrelated characters” and “you don’t understand they only say “I am a trans woman” in the English dub in the original Japanese they don’t use a slur for trans people.”.

Now that a trans creator writes a trans woman based on herself and confirms she’s trans out of universe all of a sudden it’s “shoe horned in and bad writing”

This is nothing new for trans woman, in fiction the goal post of what is acceptable “representation” will always be moved until they can not exist in any form and in real life the definition of what a “Real Woman” is will constantly be moved in an effort to exclude trans women and third gender them.

(This might piss people off but I genuinely believe that the whole sex and gender are different nonsense popping up around the same time sex change surgeries started being a real possibility for trans people is not a coincidence)

And like I hinted at earlier while the fact “that” Jax is trans had been a large part of the discussion around her, both before, and after the final episode. Discussion around “How” being trans uniquely effects her story has been noticeably absent from that conversation.

The closest I’ve seen people come to that is arguing about weather her being the way she is good or bad representation.

Trans characters rather than being treated like individuals who’s transness may or may not affect their life experiences and how they process it (like any other characteristic example race, sex, class) are instead forced to be political statements about what a trans person should or shouldn’t be.

Which again extends to how trans people are seen.

Trans people are treated like our existence is a statement about about social norms and gender and not like we’re people just trying to live our lives as best we can.