• Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
    10·
    3 hours ago

    How radical are we talking? I might have an issue with “eliminating all men” radical, but I’m good with “Michelangelo is a party dude” kind of radical.

  • blackbrook@mander.xyz
    3·
    2 hours ago

    I can’t imagine myself in a relationship with someone who identifies with any ideology so strongly they define themselves as that.

  • hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world
    1·
    1 hour ago

    You might not wanna hear this:

    Depends on your definition of radfem and on how well we fit and how they are

    • if we don’t match, nah
    • if their vibe is completely off to the point I’m not sure I’ll be alive after that week, nah
    • if their beliefs get in the way of a relationship, nah

    Otherwise sure I guess? This a really vague question so if you are more specific, I could get you a better answer.

        • BigDotNet@lemmy.mlOPEspañol
          1·
          3 hours ago

          The ones who say all men are potential rapists. Would you date one of that kind?

          • Mossy Feathers (They/Them)@pawb.social
            21·
            31 minutes ago

            I think you’re misunderstanding what feminists mean when they say, “all men can be rapists”. It’s alright, I used to be in your shoes too, sometimes people are just bad at explaining themselves, so lemme try and explain my understanding of the statement.

            They’re not saying that men are rapists, what they’re trying to say is that men have been trained to pursue relationships in a way that can be coercive and can lead to rape without the man realizing he’s doing anything wrong (I’ll go into how a man could “”“accidentally”“” rape someone near the end).

            A good example of this is “Baby, it’s cold outside”. The song is about a man trying to convince a women to stay the night with him. The song takes the form of the woman finding reasons to leave, while the man finds reasons for her to stay. This was because, at the time, it was considered improper for a single lady to stay the night with a gentleman who’s also single; they might get up to something, the horror!

            Now, the song portrays this coersion as being possibly consensual; that, in the context of the song, the woman might want to stay, but feels compelled to go through the list of reasons she should leave so it isn’t “improper”. However, if you’re engaging in roleplay like that, you need to set clear boundaries before you do, otherwise you risk someone getting hurt. Furthermore, standards have changed. It’s no longer improper (in most places) for a woman to spend the night at a man’s house, nor is it acceptable to try and convince a woman (or anyone for that matter) to sleep with you if they’ve said “no”. Again, it is coercive, and you cannot derive consent from coersion unless it was clearly defined beforehand as part of role-play (consent can also be revoked, if someone tells you “stop”, you stop).

            Despite that, cultural momentum means that many young men are still taught that if a woman says “no”, that just means you need to give her a better excuse to say “yes” (“she’s just playing ‘hard-to-get’”).

            You might be able to see how this is a bad thing, yes?

            That is what I believe they’re referring to. It’s not that they think every man is a rapist just waiting to strike, it’s that most men have been trained to “just try harder” if their lady friend says “no”.

            Edit: if I’m wrong, feel free to correct me.

      • Mossy Feathers (They/Them)@pawb.social
        61·
        3 hours ago

        You’re probably gonna have to be more specific.

        Radical feminist can refer to:

        A hardcore feminist who goes to every rally and protest, donates money to things like planned parenthood and so on. - probably a cool person, but might have their head up their ass. However, their heart is probably in the right place regardless of their personality.

        A misandrist. Fake feminist who hates men and believes men are the source of the world’s problems. - almost certainly an asshole and should be avoided.

        A terf, aka “trans-exclusionary radical feminist”. Also a fake feminist. They don’t believe trans women are women and seek to exclude them. - asshole, avoid at all costs; tend to call themselves “gender critical” because the real feminists got tired of their bullshit and started kicking them out.