“Interpersonal Systemic Shame makes it easy to see people’s laziness, sloppiness, or apathy as the source of the problem rather than a consequence of repeated structural failures. Interpersonal Systemic Shame often involves blaming and shaming people who share identities or experiences with us, because they reflect the qualities we’ve been conditioned to hate in ourselves.”
- Unlearning Shame, Devon Price, PhD
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Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
OK for real, how am I supposed to know what personality traits of mine are unhealthy coping mechanisms and which are ‘normal’? What parts of me are acceptable and which parts of me are signs of ‘oh dear that poor delusional person is clearly is compensating for their shitty life’?
I am so sick of second guessing my every thought, action and interest.
embrace what brings you joy without giving a single fuck about whether it’s maladaptive. this world is bad. feeling good in a bad world is a win every time and i don’t care how you get there. NTs can go play by themselves or whatever i gots 0 patience for typicals
All of it is you, and all of it can cease to be who you are if you stop.
The trick is whether you want it to be part of you, since it’s your life. If you like something about yourself others find to be abnormal, then thats their problem and they can go pound sand.
If you don’t like a part of yourself you can work on it.
i really do be sleeping for most of my life, mimimi, bed so comfy
Cat’s do it and they seem pretty happy
In my experience cats always seem to be slightly displeased except when they’re getting scritches
4·6 days agoThis is true.
ⓘ This user is suspected of being a cat. Please report any suspicious behavior.
Youre in your sleepy era, youre snoozemaxxing, youre honking on your shoo until you miminimimi
Every escalation currently happening makes complete sense as a consequence of the world cosigning eugenics after a year or two of half-assing SARS-CoV-2. When you consent to that scale of abandonment, nothing matters anymore. We are on our own.
My mom took half my meds so I have a stash for them i visit her, so now I have to buy new meds. She offered to pay for them but when I told her what they cost now, she got mad that I hadn’t haggled with the pharmacy So now she wants me to sign a thing a thing that lets my sister buy meds for me because she’s “a good negotiator”. My sister doesn’t wanna do it.
You can’t haggle with the pharmacy mom, you know, this you used to buy my meds.
hhhhaggle the ph-hahaha! oh-dear… ahem. Haggle the pharmacy?
You see their prices were unreasonable, surely they could cut me a deal or something, right? I think she just remembers my meds being way cheaper and thinks I’m fucking up somehow.
Honestly I should be able to say “I’m only gonna pay 50% of that, you get to keep the box” since they doubled my prices the last year and put it in a nicer box.
lol youre preachin to the choir. id love to lay into some suite level pharmaloser. id do it with no expectation of discount, just to let em know where they stand.
mmm what a nice daydream
I’m always amused at how progressive types suddenly drop their supportive act when there’s a chance one of their own could be neurodivergent.
My nephew has shown all the signs of being autistic but his parents refuse to acknowledge it. They say he was tested at three months and he was proven to be neurotypical. I have to add that her family has people who have all the signs of undiagnosed autism.
It’s so frustrating seeing someone who could get help not receive it because their parents can’t accept that their child isn’t “pure” or some bs like that
More and more, I think most people aren’t fit to be parents.
Just saw a FB post from our local warming station that activates when it gets cold out for the unhoused to go to to be safe from last night. My ex was in one of the photos. She kicked me out and made me homeless for 2 months, so the irony isn’t lost. Just not sure how I should feel about it. She’s helping people, but I used to think she did this stuff out of the kindness of her heart and now I can’t help but think she only does it because she’s religious and wants “Jesus points” as my brain has officially dubbed it. That’s all. Idk where else I should post this so y’all get it. Hope everyone is doing their best while we wrap up this shitty year.
If you’re gonna do something for bad reasons, doing good for bad reasons isn’t the worst thing.
This is true lol
but still boooooooooooooo to your ex i hope a booger freezes in her nose
This is oddly vicious, but I support it!
Is it normal to not feel equipped for adult life whatsoever?
I’m putting so much shit off. Calling my college because my Authenticator doesn’t work whatsoever so I haven’t been able to sign in to any college accounts for a month and only have 12 days to sign up for classes, calling my college because I’m being charged 1.4k despite having fafsa, I have no passions at all and no idea wtf I want to do even though I’m 21, have 0 motivation or energy at all times and nothing helps, constantly feel like my head is full of cotton balls, sleep like shit, have sinus problems, tired all the time, don’t have any energy to make plans to move even though I despise my hometown with a passion
I just feel like a lazy failure. Why tf was I born I hate this world so much lol. I did not ask for this
Do you have a depression? It’s normal to not feel equipped for adult life but it sounds like you’re struggling much more than just that. Laziness isn’t real, depression is, and it’s a monster to deal with 🫂
Yeah, I feel like I’ve been depressed my whole life. I still manage to work and go to college and get things done mostly on time but I never feel like doing much, pretty much have no hobbies because my energy is so low. I keep trying different things to improve and hope I feel better as I improve my habits. Stropped smoking mj and trying to eat and hydrate more, I need to start some kind of exercise and get out more
It sounds like you’re doing a lot of good things so I see no reason to be so negative about yourself. I was depressed for as long as I could remember as well and in my 20s I mostly recovered to the point where I now only occasionally have depressive episodes. I wish the same (or better) for you as well
Love waking up at 5 am for no reason and immediately stressing and feeling bad about myself lol.
Is it normal to not feel equipped for adult life whatsoever?
yeah it is. so’s feeling like you should already know what you wanna do and feeling like you’re falling behind or that you are “already” 21.
let’s see if my old ass can articulate this in a non trite way?
the best, most relaxing thing you can learn about those confident happy older people around you —and you will only believe me after a couple decades seeing it for yourself—
is that nearly all of us are flying by the seat of our pants, all of the time, every fucking day. it works.
we’re faking it baby! like… all of us!
see that 60yo? bet ya a million bucks they were a 21 yo workin a crap job, getting along just doing what they can. stack a few days up like that? boom one morning they looked at the mirror n 40 years had passed lol.
it’s really not any more complicated than that. i swear, youre not missing anything. youre right where you need to be.
i do remember that feeling, being 21… and vaguely i remember some old fart telling me some variation of this screed and i didn’t believe them. but i get what they mean now.
Much love to all my beautiful and loving Disabled Comrades
And much love to you too, our lovely unmaskme
Why is everyone so terrible and mean all the time
I just fr can’t tolerate living in this hateful ass world man
I was just about to say the same thing. It really does feel like the general publics empathy is at an all time low, hmm? So many times people will casually say something so cruel that it feels like a gut punch and I wonder if I’m too sensitive. People being awful to the homeless or to traumatized/neurodiverse/disabled people in particular is really depressing.
Sorry if I’m making it about me in this comment, I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and I feel the same.
No it’s okay, I find a lot of comfort in commiseration because there’s no one can really turn to in my real personal life. It’s so depressing how it seems like most people will find any excuse to make fun of or even hate someone they don’t even know and it always hurts me to see even if I’m not even involved. I’ve had to delete all my social media and blocked Reddit on my phone just because it’s gotten so so negative even if I stick to just people I know and artists, even the subreddits specific to the few games I play are so negative ☹️
I felt that. I deleted all my social media accounts too and while I wouldn’t say I’m feeling great now, it helped with getting rid of a lot of negativity. However, it also means there’s less people to talk to. That’s what I appreciate hexbear for, because even if we have problems here, there’s also a chance to talk things out. It is more humane than most other online interactions.
The subreddits for games can be really terrible. What games are you playing though? Maybe there’s some people here who want to chat about these games or can help if you’re stuck on a puzzle or something.
I can’t make the negativity go away, but I can leave you a little hug, if you want one
I mostly play the elder scrolls online, but I’ve been playing for hours everyday so I’m getting a bit burnt out, which sucks because I still have so much story to get through 😭 I’m probably going to start back up again on January 1st in the hopes that we get new mounts in the in game store. Right now I’m playing Frontiers of Pandora because of the new DLC that came out, I was really into it last winter and made a ton of Ikran skin mods, I’ve always been kind of obsessed with Avatar just because the word is so captivating and I really like the alien biology, plants, and animals, even if it’s not very realistic lol.
Mostly I was in the subreddits for news and updates about the game and to see people’s characters and learn about lore but a lot of the posts were pretty negative 😔 oh well. At least ESO has a lot of tutorials available for when I inevitably get stumped by a puzzle haha
Thanks 🫂🫂
I didnt forget. Happy new year to you guys, guyettes, and non-guynaries. Hope you had a great new year’s celebration and I hope 2026 is as amazing as you deserve it to be.
Thank you, Keld
Btw, I love guyettes as a concept, I might just adopt that one irl haha
I’m stealing “non-guynary” lol
Really wish I could turn off the part of me that get’s really sad when people say things I think are bad. That would be cool.
I think the things you think are good, actually
Nonono that’s not what I mean. Uh, let me word that a bit better.
the part of me that get’s really sad when people say something that I consider morally kind of shitty. Like the kind of people who say stuff like “Homeless people are lazy.” Like I’ll hear someone say something cruel about someone I don’t even know and I’ll feel it hard. Like too hard. I’ll go into like a deep depression.
But also thank you very much for the kind words.
Customer changed the amount he gave me AFTER paying and then got pissy and condescending when I didn’t get the change right. I hate customers.
a number of horror stuff is just ableism
i love horror, but i need to do intensive research on just about anything horror I watch because of the amount of times they portray ppl with DID as being monsters, lmao
i love having uber stigmatized mental illness
look at how evil this MENTALLY HANDICAPPED person is, how he does evil stuff becauseHE IS MENTALLY HANDICAPPED, you should fear him for that :)
Also a lot of body horror stuff, a lot of them just look like humans with body conditions, or suffered from injuries.
yea, it’s frustrating! i’ve just started to write my own horror ngl
As in horror tropes?
first meeting with my new therapist in a purple state and they immediately un-diagnosed me with adhd before giving me medication that asphyxiated me in the middle of the night every day for two weeks
That sucks.
It seems most meds give awful side effects and don’t really help much, for every medical condition.
ty for this comment, i hope it’s just bad luck
