Who doesn’t dream of a battalion of oiled up hairless twunks ready to go at a moment’s notice?

Pete, this is the fifth penis inspection day you’ve sprung on the unit this month.

Nothing says ‘tough guy’ more than a boudoir filled with puffs, mascara, foundation cream and makeup palettes, amirite?

Pete owns the premium cushioned knee pads. Thank you for your serviceing to our nation.

And how he embarrassed himself trying to work out with them

Perhaps he’s dreaming of them taking him into the showers to make a real man out of him