“Male” and “female” aren’t single points at the extreme ends, they’re spectrums themselves. Most straight (and exclusively gay) people’s attraction lies well within one of those, usually not even the entirety of them.
Like think about a straight guy attracted to the most stereotypically feminine women vs a straight guy attracted to tomboys. They’re both just straight. Or a straight woman attracted to buff manly guys vs a straight woman attracted to soft nerdy guys. Still both just straight. (Obviously I’m going on stereotypes here, but those kind of people absolutely exist.)
So you think a straight dude dating a non binary person is a situation where the dude can stay straight while also affirming the gender identity of said enby? One of those things isn’t possible. Either the dude isn’t straight or the enby isn’t enby. Straight means your attraction follows the binary, straight folks cannot be attracted to folks outside of the binary and still be straight. These things are by definition incompatible.
Dudes who are “straight” but date non binary AFAB folks anyway are some of the worst dudes on the planet and I will kick every single one of them in the balls until they admit they’re wrong either way. They can stay straight but then they gotta climb back into their Gender Trad closet and shut the fuck up forever. Or they can admit that “being straight” is fucking dumb and doesn’t exist in a world where gender is a complex and ever changing spectrum and they can join us in the modern age.
I see your point about people who data/would date enbies being pan (edit: wrong word), and that makes sense to me. My only thought was that (many) lesbians date enbies, and that feels the same to me (just depending on how you identify yourself, but the direction of your attraction is the same as a straight guy).
There are straight guys who have hookups with cis guys that seems like even more cognitive dissonance to me. but if their partners are fine with it I don’t really care how someone wants to label their sexuality. I know a lesbian who’s in a long term relationship with a guy. yaknow, whatever.
Obviously if their partner isn’t okay with it then yea, let’s kick him in the balls though.
I do, because it matters. To say you’re straight but then be attracted to or date or hook up with people that fall outside of the gender binary that literally defines said straight identity is just another way to erase the identities of folks who don’t conform to the gender binary. The only reason straight folks who do shit like that identify as straight are because they’re too cowardly and / or hopped up on homophobia to admit maybe they aren’t as straight as they think. It’s highly highly problematic and fuck every single person who does this.
Maybe I’m doing too much talking (and probably not doing a good job at explaining myself anyway). How would you label a guy who is attracted to (some) women and (some) enbies?
No basically everything you said I agree with. Except that someone who is attracted to some women and some enbies is NOT STRAIGHT. That’s queer or pan or bi or whatever label you want. But it’s not straight. That’s my sticking point. “Straights” who are straight in name only are erasing the identities of everyone else because they’re too cowardly to admit they aren’t straight. It’s awful and I hate it.
“Male” and “female” aren’t single points at the extreme ends, they’re spectrums themselves. Most straight (and exclusively gay) people’s attraction lies well within one of those, usually not even the entirety of them.
Like think about a straight guy attracted to the most stereotypically feminine women vs a straight guy attracted to tomboys. They’re both just straight. Or a straight woman attracted to buff manly guys vs a straight woman attracted to soft nerdy guys. Still both just straight. (Obviously I’m going on stereotypes here, but those kind of people absolutely exist.)
Gender compass
If that tomboy uses they them pronouns and that is literally the only difference, is said tomboy chaser still straight?
How does being attracted to tomboys automatically make someone a “chaser”? Who is allowed to be attracted to them without being a “chaser”?
This opens the question of chaser sexuality which is several cans of wriggling angry worms
That’s fine chasers don’t deserve to be taken seriously anyway. I don’t mind making them angry
True and fuck em, chasers deserve to face the wall, not be taken seriously! It’s a subject of debate among trans ppl too though it seems :)
If a lesbian could date them, I don’t see why a straight guy couldn’t 🤷
So you think a straight dude dating a non binary person is a situation where the dude can stay straight while also affirming the gender identity of said enby? One of those things isn’t possible. Either the dude isn’t straight or the enby isn’t enby. Straight means your attraction follows the binary, straight folks cannot be attracted to folks outside of the binary and still be straight. These things are by definition incompatible.
Dudes who are “straight” but date non binary AFAB folks anyway are some of the worst dudes on the planet and I will kick every single one of them in the balls until they admit they’re wrong either way. They can stay straight but then they gotta climb back into their Gender Trad closet and shut the fuck up forever. Or they can admit that “being straight” is fucking dumb and doesn’t exist in a world where gender is a complex and ever changing spectrum and they can join us in the modern age.
I see your point about people who data/would date enbies being pan (edit: wrong word), and that makes sense to me. My only thought was that (many) lesbians date enbies, and that feels the same to me (just depending on how you identify yourself, but the direction of your attraction is the same as a straight guy).
There are straight guys who have hookups with cis guys
that seems like even more cognitive dissonance to me. but if their partners are fine with it 
I don’t really care how someone wants to label their sexuality. I know a lesbian who’s in a long term relationship with a guy. yaknow, whatever.
Obviously if their partner isn’t okay with it then yea, let’s kick him in the balls though.
I do, because it matters. To say you’re straight but then be attracted to or date or hook up with people that fall outside of the gender binary that literally defines said straight identity is just another way to erase the identities of folks who don’t conform to the gender binary. The only reason straight folks who do shit like that identify as straight are because they’re too cowardly and / or hopped up on homophobia to admit maybe they aren’t as straight as they think. It’s highly highly problematic and fuck every single person who does this.
Maybe I’m doing too much talking (and probably not doing a good job at explaining myself anyway). How would you label a guy who is attracted to (some) women and (some) enbies?
No basically everything you said I agree with. Except that someone who is attracted to some women and some enbies is NOT STRAIGHT. That’s queer or pan or bi or whatever label you want. But it’s not straight. That’s my sticking point. “Straights” who are straight in name only are erasing the identities of everyone else because they’re too cowardly to admit they aren’t straight. It’s awful and I hate it.
You’e so real for this
tomboys are so hot