Transcription:

How To Confound A Centaur

Centaur: Hold it right there, you can’t just ride through my fields uncontested! I’ll lose my credibility if we don’t battle or something.

Me: That’s fair. How about we–

Centaur: And it can’t be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.

Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?

Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where’s the finish line?

Me: That tree over there. Where’s your horse?

Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um…?

Me: You’re not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.

Centaur: You want me… a centaur… to RIDE a regular horse.

Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.

Centaur: …

Me: …

Centaur: I hate you.

Me: That’s fair.

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    • Zagorath@aussie.zoneOPEnglish
      181·
      6 months ago

      And if the answer to that is yes…is it more or less gross than if the centaur borked a human?

      • Rinn@literature.cafe
        151·
        6 months ago

        Way less gross. Human and centaur are both intelligent, can communicate, and give consent, so it would be fine. With a horse (which has none of these things) the centaur would be committing bestiality.

        • AEsheron@lemmy.world
          5·
          6 months ago

          Well, in many games there is a Speak With Animals spells or equivalent. They are capable of communication, we just usually can’t understand.

      • Flushmaster
        12·
        6 months ago

        Apply the Harkness test (self aware intelligence, physical maturity, and ability to communicate consent). Both humans and centaurs pass assuming the individual is a willing adult, horses fail twice due to being nonsapient and uncommunicative.

      • Logh@lemmy.ml
        11·
        6 months ago

        From the human perpective, probably the horse is a little bit less gross. From the centaur perpective, probably the human is less gross, but I’m only half centaur, so can’t speak for all of them.