• cattywampas@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    37
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    4 days ago

    I think “manipulation” is a bit strong. He knows Hoshi is both the best at what she does and would be extremely interested in an exploratory mission to meet new cultures. He just opened the door for her, she walked through it.

    • Steve@communick.news
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      4 days ago

      Opening the door would just be offering her the position. He could have done that with a message or call.

      No, he showed up in person, appealed to specific emotions he new would make her more likely to make the choice he wanted. That’s textbook manipulation. It may have been for good reason, and in her best interest also, but that doesn’t mean it’s not manipulative.

        • Steve@communick.news
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          4 days ago

          Not realy. Simple, direct, unsophisticated interaction, isn’t manipulative.

          Sitting at an ordinary dinner at home and asking “Do you want to marry me?” That’s not a manipulation.

          Intentionally going out to a fancy dinner, creating a public scene, using some elaborate language reminding them of things you both enjoyed? That’s manipulation.

          • ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            4 days ago

            Using how proposals are presented in media isn’t a great analogy. Most people discuss getting married long before there’s a formal Ask.

      • Khanzarate@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        4 days ago

        If we let manipulation be so broad as to be “influence a choice”, then communication itself is manipulation.

        For example, a classic, stereotypical proposal with a dinner and a date beforehand is also just manipulating your significant other into viewing you more favorably temporarily to make it more likely they’ll say yes. A neutral proposal would be treated as an everyday affair, occurring before they’ve really interacted with you that day, something that goes against the whole social construct of proposing at all.

        Same goes for a job interview, why are you practicing and dressing better? If any of it is not part of how you intend to work at that place, its manipulation. Even body language can be manipulation.

        While all of that is actually a completely valid definition of manipulation, that doesn’t mean the proposal is bad, and the difference is intent. Benign manipulation, like a proposal, isn’t considered “being manipulative”, because being manipulative intends to trick or deceive in some way. If we edit the background details of this scene, like we give him a reason he’d like her over there so that he could benefit at her expense, then he’s being manipulative, but he isn’t doing so here. Even then, some kind of deception matters. If a corpo found a way to get a teammate a promotion somewhere else, and did so to benefit themselves, its not manipulation if they go “Hey, I got you the Klingon account, and while you’re gone, I’m gonna manage your work here and get a promotion”, that’s just being upfront about it.

        • Steve@communick.news
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          4 days ago

          Yes. Agree completely.
          Manipulating someone isn’t always bad, or even something they wouldn’t want done to them.

          While being manipulative is a trick, it isn’t necessarily dishonest. Being dishonest with a manipulation is immoral. That’s when people don’t like being manipulated. What they really don’t like is being mislead or outright lied to.

          • Wolf314159@startrek.website
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            3 days ago

            No, manipulation is inherently dishonest. That’s how you know it’s manipulation and not just honest discourse seen in the meme.

            First definition in the American heritage dictionary states this pretty plainly, “Shrewd or devious management, especially for one’s own advantage.”

            • Steve@communick.news
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              3 days ago

              That definition doesn’t require anything dishonest.

              “Shrewd OR devious”

              Using you’re definition, how is what he did not “Shrewd management for his own advantage”?