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i use my language’s equivalent of bro and dude for woman too sometimes.
Hey their lady mcfemale girl gal
🥰
I ain’t your bro son.
This is why I just use “friend” to refer to everyone.
All genders inclusive, respectful, friendly. Don’t have to try and figure anything out.
“Hey, friend”,
“Pardon, friend”,
“Thanks, friend”,
Simple
A few of these remind me of their usage in customer support, and boy I hate them already before getting into the actual transmeme.
I don’t have many trans people in my life and I always stumbled over my words when I found myself in a position where I had to address them in the third person.
My most awkward memory is a conversation with my friend where I addressed her as “my wee lass”.
Anyway, we’re married now and expecting our third Calico.
Three? That’s a lot of personality in one place.
“Dude” has become as gender neutral in my spaces as “queen” has.
Same. I mean, dude is regionally gender neutral where I live so it’s less about my spaces
Someone said “yes, king” to me once and I didn’t like it, mostly because I’m uncomfortable thinking of myself as royalty :/
But yas Queen I’m immune to bc of Rupaul.
It’s unfortunate so many terms of endearment are gendered. Habibi/habibti, ése, khouia, fra
The aussies really had it right when they decided to call everyone cunt
I was thinking about this recently and I feel like maybe people use gendered terms of endearment is because they’re gender affirming. The gendered aspect is not a side effect. Affirming someone’s gender is a nice thing to do and feels nice to have it done to you and our language reflects this.
The obvious corollary is that it is the addressee that gets to decide what terms of endearment are gender affirming for them, not the person addressing them. There are too many people that insist they’re being gender neutral when they say “dude” because their associations with the word are not gendered, but what they should be doing is bothering to ask what the person they’re talking to would find affirming and using that.
The term you use is for the person you’re addressing not for you, and you should want them to feel good about it. If someone tells you they don’t like being called dude because they find it gendered, you should fucking stop calling them dude.
If someone tells you they don’t like being called dude because they find it gendered, you should fucking stop calling them dude.
Forget gender, if someone doesn’t like being called something, don’t call them that. It’s one of those cases where respecting trans people is the same action as basic human decency.
I hate to break it to you about whether “cunt” is gendered or not…
don’t be a terf, everyone can be a cunt, and everyone can have a cunt, even men.
make sure you celebrate all the cunts in your life
I try not be a terf. “Cunt” has been a gendered slur regardless of the meaning. You can call anyone a cunt, but it has been used in history to demean women in particular, and not all women have cunts.
my answer was more of a shitpost. “cunt” is more of a gendered slur in the US, in the UK and especially in Australia everyone can be a Cunt. although it’ll likely started as a gendered slur
Genuine question, is this the same law that allows one to call anyone a dick?
no idea, but feel free to call anyone a dick, even me. go ahead
Ignoring for a moment that men can have vaginas and whatnot, the origin of the word is from the sex bits, but the word itself isn’t gendered. Same way you can say “she’s a dick”.
On second thought, it gets a little murky because that word is in some places used specifically to demean women, but that’s not Australia’s fault. It would be great if we all just agreed to end misogyny to fix that issue.
Nobody uses dudette anymore, is dude now ungendered?
I grew up in and adjacent to surf world. Nobody used dudette back then. It was always just dude.
So it was never gendered?
not here, no
I think the tides may be turning, then. As evidenced by this meme.
dudette was a bit niche, no one really used it.
Exactly! Women can be a chill ass dude fr.
stay safe dude.
Thanks, dude. 🤙
Imo, dude has always been ungendered. I call everyone dude, though I do try to use other terms when talking with my mtf homies until they know that.
Same and same, dude. But my perception isn’t all that exists, and some women don’t like being called dude. Just applying the logic of the dichotomies on display already.
What about bro-cunt… would this be a negating neutral term if endearment?
Bruhnt.
Yeah but don’t they have mate/sheila as gendered terms?
They also put sprinkles on buttered white bread and call it a pastry. Nobody’s perfect.
okay but I’m poor enough that actually sounds pretty good and achievable
I think it’s called Fairy Toast?
It’s called fairy bread and it’s delicious.
Heyy, I can agree with nobody’s perfect. I mean, I just saw a Lemmy user implying an English-speaking nation doesn’t have gendered terms!
oi mate
“Lady”, but I say it like Moe Sizlack talking to the Listen Lady.
That’s why you gotta hit em with the “homie”, “home slice”, “big dawg”, “amigo”, “boss”, or “friendo”.
Do I gotta kiss em on the lips? I’m not prepared for this level of homeslicing. I’m in too deep please advise.
Yes, but tongue is optional, as is tradition.
i know homies kiss homies, but homies nibbling on homies necks has me worried about vampires and i’m like almost out of toum. i got like, maybe half a gallon left? that’s not enough.
They might actually enjoy those. I found best effect by using something else that they might consider diminutive. Kiddo, sport, Buck, “little man”. If they get too upset, you can always pass it off as, “oh, sorry. That’s what I call my sibling/kid/nephew” etc. Which is the same bullshit reasoning they tend to give us “oh sorry, it’s just how you look though.”
Removed by mod
The 80’s and 90’s were my formative years, so “my dudes” has taken on a gender-agnostic meaning in my view (anecdotal evidence alert), so much so that I address whoever I’ve got in my team for a given day:
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A team full of guys? “Good morning my dudes”;
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A team of mostly guys and some women? “Good morning my dudes”;
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A team of mostly girls and one or two guys? “Good morning my dudes”;
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A team full of girls? “Good morning my dudes” (maybe “dudettes” but then I feel I’m making an exception based on gender which seems demeaning, so dudes is safer);
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A team of a guy, a girl, a rabbit in a hat, and a dog? “Good morning my dudes”;
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A team full of Avril Lavignes? “hey hey you you I don’t like your girlfriend”;
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A team full of people I don’t know because it’s dark? “Good morning my dudes”.
I am a simple person.
it’s interesting that you are using “guy” as “man”, because the next person is gonna say, that “you guys” is also gender neutral
I was so happy those years I lived in the us south. I earned my Y’all Card (I am now fully licensed to say Y’all) and it is pretty great
damn
i don’t live in the us, i just use y’all because its a useful language feature that honestly should be the default ;w;
I never even considered that. Learning one’s blind spots is always a benefit 😊
I’m not even sure if “blindspot” could be construed as an ableist term.
Every human has a blind spot where their retina connects to their optic nerve
You forgot: Wednesday? “My dudes”
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So you’re saying I should just stop feeling dysphoria? Great advice, thanks
Also you should get a pony
I think it is more acknowledging the shift in some English words from their strictly gendered origins.
How this affects you and your own feelings is entirely personal, but I do think the important message is that if someone uses one of these words they likely are not attaching gender to it. While this may not alleviate your dysphoria, I think it’s nice to know people aren’t misgendering you but instead are using previously gendered words in a gender neutral way.
If people know that those words cause you dysphoria and continue to use them, they for sure are misgendering you though
I’d say if its an individual in your life that you have told to not refer to you that way then yes.
If it is a stranger, particularly a younger stranger, then assuming misgendering is probably going to not be linguistically accurate and cause you uneccessary mental distress.
I think the increased neutrality of previously gendered words is overall a good thing.
I did explicitly state “if people know” - obviously it doesn’t apply to strangers
Gotcha, I misinterpreted your meaning there. I thought the indication was people should be educated to know and found that impractical.
We’re on the same page
You misunderstood me, I think. My reply was about their phrasing. “Should’ve taught” makes it sound like the onus is on me to idk watch Good Burger (which I have seen, and I understand the reference, by the way) and feel some great relief.
Ed is wrong about some stuff
The Dude would not abide people who intentionally try to make someone else’s day shit. Live and let’s bowl, I say.
To be serious though, you are valid and deserve courtesy, understanding, and respect. I hate that people do that. Especially those around us.
That Blahaj really tied the transgirl together
What does this mean? The character looks very androgynous and could be either male or female, trans or cis. Is this referring to how gender-neutral-looking people get assumed to be male?
They look fairly fem to me; at the very least not masculine enough to be consistently gendered male in good faith.
I can see the fem but I would probably be unsure if I saw them irl without being able to tell from body shape/voice
I’d be shocked if I saw someone with purplish skin and giant horns irl
That’s just Tuesday wym
I thought the picture was a woman, not even a little bit androgynous. Interesting how interpretations vary.
That’s a custom character in Baldur’s Gate 3. Gender isn’t determined by appearance in the game, but this is definitely a base model used for female characters. If we could zoom out a bit, you’d see some extremely improbable breasts sticking out.
Zoom out a little more and there are lots of options for what could be downstairs. But as far as I know the NPCs that use this base model are exclusively female. So as far as the meme is concerned, I believe it’s supposed to look outwardly like a woman.
I’ve noticed this on my main page and am here to get educated: what is the meme about?
I’m assuming the meme is about her being male presenting and hit with male pronouns from strangers who assume the gender visually, while the OP would prefer to be addressed by female pronouns (I’m not sure how said strangers should know that though, but that’s not the meme point)?
Or is it a meme about being stuck in the process and however she tries she’s still male presenting for reasons unknown to her?
It’s often less about how one actually presents and more about people who know you refusing to change how they refer to you. People who knew you before often don’t change how they think of you until forced to reconcile with it. Until they see AND accept that you’re incontrovertibly feminine, they’ll keep calling you sir even if most new people who meet you call you ma’am.
Thanks, appreciate it.
It could be cognitive bias (because of the words around it), but the girl on the screenshot does look a bit manly to me (but it also can be lighting, angle, makeup, hair, scales and horns; after all those are the tools of drag)
I love you, sister. Sorry.
🥰
